


Safe

by graygravy



Category: Saiyuki, Saiyuki Gaiden
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Spiders, Underage Sex, bridal auction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2019-06-13 01:58:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 25
Words: 39,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15353697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graygravy/pseuds/graygravy
Summary: Kenren finds out there is more to his Marshal that meets the eye.Due to a traumatic past, it's hard for Tenpou to trust anyone, but Kenren is different. He'ssafe.This is pretty much equal parts depressing and fluff.WIP. Please note warnings before reading.





	1. Normal

Tenpou seemed to like lying on his chest, Kenren reflected. It was a step in the right direction of course, seeing how terrified the marshal was when Kenren slid into bed with him the first time. He looked down at his not quite lover, smiling when he saw how utterly relaxed he was. Kenren brushed the bangs out of Tenpou's face, but made no move other than to just stare at him in the dim light of almost morning. 

"What are you thinking about?" Came the murmur, as sleepy eyes blinked open. Tenpou smiled when he looked up at him, then laid back down, making soft happy grumbles. "If it's about the training later, I told you I can get you out of it. Just send one of the other guys down." A short laugh, "That one that has a crush on you, perhaps." 

Kenren snorted, "That will make him think I singled him out as a favour or something. Nah, maybe the one that has a crush on you." He gently placed his other hand around Tenpou's waist carefully, watching to see any sign of protest.

There was none. In fact, Tenpou just sighed and curled up even more on him. "Who has a crush on me? Aren't you gonna kick his ass?" That was new too. There wasn't any of the worried hesitation that came when he pointed out how other people seemed to take an interest in him. Tenpou always seemed to be operate on only two levels, platonic and abuser. It's good that his mind didn't make the connection this time.

"You really trust all the men in the First Unit, huh?" He tried to push his luck further. 

There was that familiar furrowed brow, then Tenpou nodded. "Yes, I do. They're safe." 

That was an odd choice of words. "Safe, huh." Without thinking, Kenren moved his hand further up, inadvertently touching skin where Tenpou's nightshirt had ridden up. Oh shit. He quickly looked down, looking to see if he needed to apologise. 

Tenpou's eyes were still shut, and he had that drowsy half smile on him. "Yeah. They won't do anything to hurt me. I chose them, I know what they're like, They're not... They're... They're safe." He gave a happy laugh and rubbed his face on Kenren's chest. 

With a start, Kenren realised that he had forgotten to wear a top to bed, but yet, his marshal was still lying so comfortably on him, hot breath against his naked skin. He unthinkingly moved his hand even further up, going in between flesh and cloth. 

There was a murmur, and Tenpou fidgeted softly, then closed and spread his fingers slowly across Kenren's chest. Kenren looked down, seeing a soft blush on Tenpou's face. This was very, very new. Tenpou sighed softly, his smile getting even wider. 

And then, Tenpou _moaned_. Kenren bit back his reply, feeling _something_ press against his body, then saw Tenpou's eyes shoot open, slight panic on his face. "No..." He whispered. "Go away..." It didn't seem like he was talking to anyone, in fact, it was almost like he was talking to himself. 

"Tenpou?" Kenren started, feeling mildly amused "Its okay, its _normal_. Its called arousal, and I'm really honoured that you feel that way about me." 

Tenpou just closed his eyes, trying to draw back from him. "I... I don't know what to feel."

"It feels good." Kenren stated. "And it's just a reaction. Nothing more, nothing less. I can make you feel better if you let me too." 

This time, he saw him shake his head. "I don't want you to do stuff like that... I told you before." Tenpou bit his lip, "Please, go away... " He begged himself again. This time his breath was coming in short ragged almost gasps and Kenren could tell that he was stopping himself from what Kenren figured was his own version of dry humping him. 

Kenren tried his best not to laugh, "Then, why don't you take care of it yourself? I won't touch you. But, can I watch?"

"Myself?" He had to be kidding him. There was no way. No absolute way, the marshal never even had self love? What kind of twisted relationship did he have?! Kenren silently thanked the men in their unit for not divulging too much details about the previous guy other that the their careful admission that 'he didn't treat Tenpou very well.' Which might have been the understatement of the century, no, millenium.

"Yeah, you just use your hand and, um, make yourself happy." Kenren took Tenpou's other hand and slowly brought it down to his crotch. "You do it. Not me, I won't do anything. I promise." 

It took a while and with some soft encouragement from Kenren. But eventually the marshal whimpered softly, and slowly crept his hand below the waistband of his boxers. 

It was an experience. One that Kenren thanked the stars he was privy to. It only reconfirmed what he had suspected, that Tenpou looked absolutely beautiful when he came. 

"How was that?" He asked, trying hard to ignore the rush of blood that went southward when he heard Tenpou's pleasured moans. "You feel better?" 

The marshal, _giggled_. "Yes... That was pretty good." He opened his eyes, still flushed a delicate pink and smiled up at him. "Thank you." He snuggled back up to Kenren, then suddenly drew back when he saw the bulge in Kenren's pants.

Kenren sighed, then bit his lip. "I won't hurt you." He said, telling him the same few phrases he knew would calm him down. "Like I said, its a reaction. Nothing more."

Tenpou drew even further back, "You will." He said, looking to the side. "You will if you make me do it." He was upset now, but trying hard not to show it. "D..don't make me do it..."

"Tenpou, I won't ever make you do anything you don't want to." He caught Tenpou looking at him and held his gaze. "I'm not like whoever the fuck hurt you so badly. I don't. Fuck. Tenpou, most people don't get off on hurting others like that okay. They want _consent_. I won't ever touch you that way without your express consent. That's a promise." 

"But..." He saw him look at his erection again. "You're..." He sat up, drawing the blankets around him. 

" _I_ will go to the restroom and take care of it. You don't need to be present." He stated. Kenren sat up and kissed him on the forehead. "Just like how you took care of yourself earlier. I'll be back in a few minutes. Don't think too hard. I won't hurt you, remember that."

It wasn't that long before Tenpou heard the toilet flush, and then Kenren climbed back into bed with him. "See, no one got hurt, and we both had a good time." Tenpou was still sitting up, looking as though he was thinking very hard. "Tenpou." He reached out and pulled him gently down to lie on his chest again. "Stop thinking." 

Tenpou bowed his head in semi acknowledgement, but didn't say anything.

Kenren decided to continue talking. "And as I said, I'm flattered you got aroused by me. That means you're not scared of me and that you like me. A lot." He squeezed him gently then ran his fingers up the nape of Tenpou's neck. "So you've had what I hope isn't your first positive sexual experience. And it was with me. See, I am really the best lay in town," He tried to get at least a chuckle out of him. 

There wasn't the laugh he was hoping for. "It was." Tenpou said admitted softly and Kenren felt his stomach drop just a bit. "I really liked it." How could that really be the first time he had those feelings about other people. Mutual, well, somewhat mutual mastrubation barely clipped Kenren's radar of 'fun things to do in bed with another person'. What kind of fucker was the previous guy?! 

All Kenren knew about him was that he was called 'Hideaki Gensui’ and a lot of Tenpou's nightmares involved him. And a lot of Tenpou's nightmares involved begging him to stop doing what Kenren didn't want to guess he did to Tenpou. He resolved to find out more about this guy and maybe rearrange parts of his face for what he did to his lover. He tried to keep his voice steady. “I’m glad you liked it. You can do it again, you know. With or without me. But it helps if you’re thinking of me, of course.” He laughed, watching Tenpou flush deeper red. 

“Stop it.” There was humour behind the words. “I don’t know. Maybe I will, if it ever happens again.”


	2. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit about Tenpou's past.  
> Kenren gets sappy.  
> Chapter contains references to underage ~~sex~~ abuse.

Kenren had come back from a night of drinking to find Tenpou in the middle of another nightmare.

It was a bad one this time, Tenpou was tossing and turning so hard he wasn’t surprised if he eventually fell off the bed. Bed. Tenpou never got into bed without him though. He preferred to take naps on the floor and wait for Kenren to move him into softer sleeping areas. 

“Don’t! Stop! Stop!” He actually screamed this time, a heart wrenching cry as he arched his back off the mattress. “Please… Please! Don’t!” 

Kenren quickly dropped his bags and ran over, trying to figure out the best way of waking him up. He caught one flailing arm, and Tenpou screamed again, trying his hardest to pull away from him. “Please... “ He begged his nightmare abuser. “Don’t make me do it. Please don’t. It still hurts from earlier today. Please…” He was crying now, huge ugly sobs that wracked his entire frame. 

The general let go and just sat back, trying to decide how to make him wake up. “Tenpou. Its me. Kenren. Wake up, please.” Tenpou had stopped struggling now though, and Kenren took his hand, putting it on his face. “It's me. You know my voice. Wake up, Ten-chan. He’s not here. He won’t hurt you. I won’t let him.” He impulsively hugged the other man, for some reason feeling like he was going to cry himself. “Tenpou, I won’t let him hurt you anymore.” 

The crying slowly stopped, and Kenren felt a hand place itself on his back, spreading fingers out and back again. “You can’t promise that.” Came the soft ragged reply. “He comes for me in my dreams. You can’t.. You can’t control dreams, Kenren.” Tenpou pushed at him to let go, and Kenren did so. He fumbled at the night stand for his cigarettes and shakingly lit one up, not looking at him. 

Again, Kenren was at a loss for words. He kicked off his boots at last and threw them aside to crawl up next to Tenpou sitting against the headboard. The cigarette smoke was somewhat comforting, a familiar scent that he knew. Kenren patted his inner pocket for his own, then realised that he was out. And Tenpou hated sharing his cigs. He looked down, seeing Tenpou’s other hand opening and closing, some sort of hidden reflex thing he always did at moments like this. He grabbed it, feeling much like a schoolkid holding hands with his crush. “Tenpou, I said I won’t let him hurt you. And that means that if I see you dreaming about that fucker, I will wake you up so you don’t need to relive what he did.” He was morbidly curious about this guy now. How fucking twisted of a person do you need to be to leave such long lasting scars?

“What if you’re not here then.” It wasn’t really a question, more like a statement. “You’ll leave eventually, Kenren. People warned me how you operate. Once you figure out how to fuck me, you’ll gain another notch on your tally and leave.” Kenren looked to see him still smoking, his expressionless poker face on. “If.. if that’s what you really want, then…” Tenpou placed his cigarette in the frog ashtray and brought his hands to the hem of his shirt. “Take what you want now. And leave, please.” He didn’t follow through on the action, but stayed in that position, his head down as he started to shake. “Just… don’t make it hurt too much.” 

“Tenpou, NO.” Kenren leapt off the bed, and pulled Tenpou’s hands away from removing his shirt. “I won’t hurt you.” He said. “And I don’t care if that’s what you’ve heard about me, maybe that’s true then, but its not true now.” He swallowed, trying to find the right words. “I will never do anything to you unless you want me to. Never. I.. I don’t do things like that, okay? You’re not a notch on my tally to me., You’ll never be. Even if some day, you decide you trust me enough to make you feel good, I will never think of you as a tally because I will never leave you.” He almost couldn’t believe the words that were coming out his mouth. They were true, and he wholeheartedly believed them. “I won’t hurt you.” He repeated. “And I won’t let anyone else hurt you any more.” He got down on his knees beside the bed. 

“I love you.” It was those words he had never thought he’d say in erneast to anyone. “Let me take care of you, please. I don’t want you to suffer like this. Fucking hell Ten-chan, I’ll go for all your meetings with that creeper Li Touten instead of you. He won’t creep on me and I’ll kick him in the balls for all those times he crept on you.” 

Tenpou finally turned to face him, a half smile on his face. “You can’t kick him the balls, Kenren. He’ll have you tortured. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He moved back down, and Kenren got back on the bed, both of them quietly assuming the sleeping position that Tenpou liked best, lying on his lover’s chest almost like a child. “I… I love you too.” He took a deep breath. “I… loved others, but… I don’t think it was the right kind. It was because it was my duty to love him, I suppose, that I tried my best.” 

Sometimes Tenpou let slip bits of these incredibly pertinent information that just piqued his curiosity. He opted to keep silent with quiet murmurs to see if his lover would elaborate. 

“I think I realised that it wasn’t love as soon as he brought me back. Because… in all the books I’ve read… It. It was supposed to be a happy thing. But I cried. I cried every time. Which was weird because people said it was supposed to get better with time, but it never did.” His voice was soft and low, telling him all the things he wanted but hated to know. “Though, sometimes… I think he liked it if I cried, because he’ll have this huge smirk on his face when he finished.” That fucker… 

Kenren realised that his blood was suddenly boiling, and he was tensing up. He tried his best to relax, but he couldn’t keep back his reply. “Why did you let him do it? I’ve seen you fight, you’re strong! You could probably take me in a sword fight!”

Tenpou actually chuckled. “I’ll need that in writing, dear general.” He spread his fingers out over Kenren’s chest again. “But, that’s now. This was a very long time ago. A very, very long time ago.” 

His entire stomach lurched as he suddenly worked out the maths. “Tenpou, you’re the fastest rising and youngest marshal the army ever had. If it was a long time ago, how. How old were you?” He almost didn’t want to know the answer to the question. 

“Not old enough.” Came the reply. “I wasn’t a very healthy child, Kenren. It was easy to overpower me.” 

Child?! CHILD?! His mind screamed and Kenren realised he was trembling. With fear or anger, he didn’t know. But Tenpou kept on talking, and he didn’t want to interrupt the horrible words he was hearing. 

“I guess there wasn’t anything else to sell.” Tenpou said matter of factly. “My father died when I was young, and my mother had to remarry. You know how it went in those times. He was a gambling man. A very bad one. Someone once jokingly offered him money for me. Before we went flat broke. He declined then, but I guess that gave him the idea.” He took a deep breath but continued. “He dressed me up in my sister’s clothes. Luckily she had married before he could do the same to her. And… put me up for auction as a young bride. At one of those tea houses. You know, the bad ones.” 

Tenpou went silent for a moment, and Kenren realised he was holding his breath as well. “Ten-” He started, but his lover continued speaking, almost as if he didn’t hear him.

“He told me that he couldn’t afford to take care of me because I was sick so often and that whoever bought me would be the one who would care for me. He said they would love me and treat me nicely because they had lots of money. So I better be a good bride to them and love them no matter what.” He shook his head. “I… didn’t really understand, but I went along with it. My mother didn’t. She tried her best to get me out of there, but she couldn’t. He locked her in a room before we left.” He laughed bitterly. “He got a very good price for me. I think he’s still living off the fortune. It helped that he advertised me as ‘unspoiled goods’ because apparently those go for a lot higher. Especially for boys. To the right crowd.” Kenren looked down to see Tenpou with his eyes closed, his face twisted with long ago pain. He didn’t like that look. 

“Tenpou…” He tried putting his arm around him again, but this time the marshal flinched and Kenren hurriedly drew his hand back, feeling guilty for some reason. “I won’t hurt you.” He said, falling back into the words repeated almost every night. Tenpou never replied to it, but he could tell that it soothed him. “You know that, right?” 

Again, there was no reply, but he could see Tenpou bite his lip, thinking hard again. Tenpou shifted, spreading himself more out on Kenren’s chest. “Yes.” The general almost couldn’t catch the words. “You won’t… You’re safe.” 

The breath he was holding let itself out, along with an almost crushing sense of relief. He carefully wound his hand in Tenpou’s hair again, massaging the nape of his neck in the way he knew he liked. It was uncomfortable lying in bed in his drinking clothes, but he didn’t care. Tenpou knew he was safe. And that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kenren is _safe_ and that is all that matters.


	3. Ken-nya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More backstory and Tenpou's impulsiveness shows up again.

It wasn’t smooth sailing at all with Tenpou. There were days when Kenren hoped that he had recovered enough for the small touches, caresses, that Kenren gave all his lovers, and there were nights where the nightmares left him sobbing till dawn in his arms, telling him things that he would never wish on his worst enemy. 

He never worried for his safety though, Tenpou could fight as well as any other soldier in the army and he was deadly with his stupidly oversized katana. He would have never guessed what plagued the cheerful marshal at night just by his actions. 

But slowly, he learned to read the signs. All the small signals he gave out when he was internally panicking. His fingers opening and closing was a giveaway. He noticed it every time the minister talked to Tenpou. He didn’t miss the leers Li gave his marshal, didn’t miss all the attempts Li tried to casually touch him, before Tenpou dodged away artfully. He’ll have to keep an eye on him. If not for Tenpou’s sake, then for Li’s. 

There was one day though, that he almost reached his breaking point. 

There was one of those stuffy garden parties one of the higher ups wives threw that somehow became mandatory for officers to attend. Tenpou hated them, and so, by association, did Kenren, even though he was never invited. 

There was some stupid idea by another officer to dress to theme or something, and he had bought outfits for everyone else with the unspoken threat that they'll wear it or risk consequences. How _fun_.

Kenren actually accepted the parcel when it came, signed the delivery notice and tossed it on Tenpou’s desk. The party was the next morning and they had planned to stay in with some sake while Tenpou read out to him. It sounded juvenile, but he actually really enjoyed it. The books Tenpou chose were always interesting with the right amount of humour that he liked. 

Tenpou came out of the bedroom, freshly showered and content, “What did you sign for?” He asked him, picking up the notice. “Oh, it's the stupid costume theme thing Ootoya Gensui thought up.” He rolled his eyes, “What is it this time though. I hope I get to be a bear or something instead of a cat like they always assign me to.” 

Kenren was lounging on the sofa, picking out the night’s book from the pile that Tenpou had curated, carelessly tossed on the floor next to the sofa. “Well, take it out and we’ll have a laugh at it together.” He replied with an amused grin. He heard the parcel being torn open and the rustle of cloth. “Well, what is it? Do you get to be Ten-kuma-chan?” There was silence. “Or are you Ten-nya again?” The silence was getting suspiciously heavy, and with a sigh, he maneuvered himself off the sofa. “Ten-chan?” 

Tenpou was standing at his desk, with a pile of colourful cloth in front of him. He was holding up the note that came with it, his face eerily blank. 

Kenren picked up the cloth, trying to make heads or tail of what it was. “I’m not wearing that.” He heard him say as he crumpled the note and threw it aside. “You can have that, give it away or burn it, I don’t care.” He said flatly before striding off into his bedroom. 

What the fuck is this thing? He finally got it the right side up and looked at what came with it, putting two and two together. This was a bridal outfit, strangely coloured, but as common as they came. He looked for the family crest, recognising it as the Ran family. What did that have to do with anything? Kenren picked up the note, reading the crabbed handwriting.

_‘I’m sure you’ll look as beautiful in this now as before. And maybe this time, I’ll win the auction so you’ll be my bride instead.’ -L_

There was a photograph with the note, faded almost beyond recognition but Kenren could recognise Tenpou anywhere. He was at most 16 centuries old, Kenren reckoned, not sure if the makeup added or took away the years. He didn’t know which he would have preferred the makeup do. There were words on the back, an advertisement for a rare bridal auction by the Ran family for their youngest son, Ran Yuuki. Kenren stared down at the photograph, horror just creeping up on him. 

It was true then, not just a wild story that Tenpou exaggerated as the years went by. The boy seemed to be called Yuuki, but it was’t uncommon for kami to take on other names as times went by. Yuuki suited Tenpou more, it was a beautiful name, but he could see why he changed it. 

Kenren looked back down at the photograph, it was beautiful, even for its age. Tenpou was standing by a sakura tree, his smile forced, but still lovely. He was thinner then, with gangly adolescent limbs that he hadn’t grew into yet. He turned over the photograph, his smile fading as he re-read the advertisement emphasising that Yuuki was ‘untouched’ in every sense of the word and that he could be ‘easily molded’ into the perfect bride. Tenpou was right that his step-father was probably still living off the money he made, the starting price of the auction was a number he only saw when he accidentally received his previous commander’s yearly payslip instead of his.

He swallowed and put the note down. L, there was no doubt who that was. He had probably planned to send his ‘costume’ as close to the actual delivery in some sick twisted fantasy that Tenpou would put it on. Kenren grabbed the cloth, realising that he had a hard time figuring out what it was because it was torn in several places and what he thought was strange colour patterns were actually dried blood. That bastard. That sick, sick bastard. His stomach turned and he contemplated how much torture he would get if he went over now to beat that sick fuck to a pulp. He tried to stuff the cloth back into the package and threw the whole thing out in the dustbin outside. That sick bastard. 

Kenren went back in, making a beeline for the bedroom. He turned the handle but the door wouldn’t budge. Tenpou never locked his doors. Especially when his lover was around. Kenren knocked rapidly. “Tenpou?” He called out, his mind suddenly racing with all sorts of horrible foreboding. “Tenpou it's me. I threw it out. You never need to see it again.” There was no reply. “Tenpou?” He called out again, rattling the door. “Ten-chan! Open the door, please.” He put his ear to the door, trying to make out any sound. There was silence. “Tenpou? Its me, Kenren. Please open the door.” He was starting to sound desperate. “I want to know if you’re okay. Please answer.” Again, silence. Kenren made a sound of frustration, then took a step back and kicked the flimsy military issued door down. 

“Tenpou?” He looked around for his love, smelling cigarette smoke. He finally spotted him by the window, leaning out as he took a drag. “Tenpou? Why didn’t you answer me?” He strode over, looking at him up and down, trying to see if everything was okay. “Tenpou?” He asked again, not liking how Tenpou seemed to ignore him. 

Tenpou shook his head, but said nothing. He just continued smoking, looking out into the early night sky. 

“Tenpou?” Kenren asked again, hating how he didn’t reply. “Ten- Yuuki.” He sounded out the unfamiliar name, seeing how that made Tenpou shoot a sudden hate filled glare at him.

“No.” Came the reply. “Never call me that again.” He had went back to looking out the window, but Kenren could see a few tears streaming down his face. “I hate that name.” He said, as if to elaborate on something, but then stopped. 

What could he possibly say to that? Kenren just stared at him, feeling disoriented. 

Tenpou turned to look at him, looking as though he had made his mind up about something. “Kenren.” He said again, something strange in his voice. 

“Yeah?” The general replied, suddenly feeling that something was very wrong. Something was going to go wrong very fast, he could feel it.

“I want you to fuck me later.” 

He barely registered what he said, not matching up the luridness of the words to the flat tone they were delivered in. The marshal was still crying, silent tears that slid down his face. Kenren said the only thing that he could think of. “What?!”

Tenpou took a deep breath. “Fuck me.” He said, “After this cigarette. I give my express permission.” He looked away, then tapped out his glowing cig. It was finishing fast, too fast, for Kenren’s liking. 

Kenren shook his head. “What? Tenpou, no. I won’t. I don’t have any lube or anything and… why? You hate people touching you. I won’t. The fucked up parcel doesn’t mean anything. It's just some sick prank by that fucktard of a minister. Ten-” 

With one fluid movement, Tenpou threw out his cigarette, took a step towards him and kissed him. Kenren relaxed, inadvertently returning the kiss, but quickly pulled away. “Tenpou, what was that?”

There was something different in him, like he had something to prove but Kenren knew that it wasn't a good thing. It was the rash irrational side of him doing it, but instead of putting himself in danger of monster attacks, it was him giving up his body yet again. “You heard me the first two times, Kenren. Fuck me. I know you’ve been wanting to do this since we met. I told you, I give my express permission.”

He refused to meet Kenren’s eyes the whole time, the same tears not stopping. “Tenpou…” He took a step forward, not liking how he responded in his usual way of tensing up before flinching away. Kenren raised his hand, intending to give him a reassuring pat, but to his horror, he saw him flinch again, as if expecting to get hit. Tenpou was grabbing the window ledge with both hands tight, trembling violently as he just stood there. “And what would that prove, huh?” Kenren asked, “I told you time and time again. I. Will. Never. Hurt. You.” He saw him nod, trying hard not to break down as he gave his now standard reply. 

“You’re safe…” He finally raised his eyes to meet Kenren’s. “You’re safe…” He repeated before reaching out to pull him into a hug. “I wish you had bought me instead of him.” He sobbed. “I really wish that.”

Kenren laughed softly, “Well, I was probably still a captain and would have to sell myself into slavery to afford your starting price.” He felt Tenpou smile. “But no, I don’t wish that.” He said, prompting Tenpou to look up at him questioningly. “I wish that your scumbag of a stepfather never needed to sell you off. I wish that you had grown up healthy and we’ll meet at a stupid function where you’re wearing a stupid bear costume and I’m wearing the stupid cat costume and we hit it off. I wish you had never suffered how you did, Ten-chan.”

All he got was another quiet sob and then Tenpou pushed himself off him. Kenren looked at him, with his glasses askew with red eyes behind them, and gently dropped a kiss on his forehead. He could feel Tenpou relax with that motion, then smile. 

“Thank you.” He said softly, then grabbed hold of Kenren’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “You’ll make a good cat.” Tenpou said with a smile. “Kennya?” He teased, making a pawing motion with his other hand. 

Kenren returned the pawing motion, then led him by the hand back out to the front. “The night’s still young, and I want my story.” He turned back with his usual grin. “I brought the good alcohol tonight too.” 

They settled in on the sofa, Kenren’s head on Tenpou’s lap as both of them fell into the world of carefree fiction.


	4. Formal Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since there's no way Tenpou will wear the 'costume', they need to find something else for him to wear.

Kenren woke up when he felt Tenpou gently tapping his nose. “Ken-nya, I need to get ready for that stupid party.” He opened his eyes to see and feel Tenpou stretch. “Can’t believe we fell asleep here again.” He yawned. 

“It's been what we’ve been doing every Friday night, dear Marshalmallow.” Kenren teased back, getting up with a slight hiss as he felt his muscles creak. “And you don’t have the costume, what are you going to wear?” His head was pounding, just a little, but for some reason Tenpou never seemed to be affected by the alcohol. 

Tenpou shrugged. “Probably some sort of formal dress uniform. Help me pick one out, I’ll make coffee.” He got off the sofa, yawning again as he went over to the kitchenette. “Not the black one, it's going to be hot.” 

“I don’t even know where you keep your dress uniform.” Kenren replied as he went over to the closet, his hand resting on the door handle “I mean, you probably have boo-” He didn’t even have time to finish the sentence, but too-long familiarity with the brown haired kami gave him the foresight to step out of the way of the book avalanche that followed the opening of any storage area in Tenpou’s apartment.

“Not the closet!” Came the too late admonishment. Tenpou poked his head out to assess the damage. “Well, not _that_ one.” He continued. “Try the one further in on the left. You might need to move some things to get there.” 

Kenren sighed and then dove in as per instruction. 

_It couldn’t be taking the marshal that long to just make coffee._ Kenren ended up having to literally dig a path to the aforementioned closet, moving dusty books, scrolls, forgotten ashtrays and more before he reckoned the door could have space to open. The First Unit didn’t have a formal dress uniform, but the main army had many, and for some reason, liked to update the design every few years. 

Kenren wiped the sweat off his brow and cautiously cracked the door open. There wasn’t any sounds of paper tomes moving into the newly created space and so he slowly opened it the rest of the way in. 

There were no books waiting to fall onto his head, no slippery scrolls that always seemed to be on the edge of teetering off any edge they seemed to be on. He took a step back, to better take a look at the amount of dress uniforms that Tenpou had somehow managed to squeeze into the cramped closet. He pulled at one, a slow grin on his face as he recognised the era it was from. “I don’t know why you even bother keeping the old ones at all!” Kenren called out, half to reassure his love that he was still alive and half in amazement. “Hey, I wonder what’s the oldest one you’ve got hidden in here.” Kenren pulled armfuls of hangers out of the way till he reached the first garment almost flush with the closet wall. 

It was much smaller than the rest, and Kenren looked at the insignia, and then the name and rank embroidered on the shoulder. “Special Aide Ran Yuuki. And this means that he served in, I have no fucking idea, under, what the hell does this mean, and there’s a Marshal Hideaki over here as well?” _Hideaki?_ That name sounded very familiar, but before Kenren could ask, Tenpou had quietly appeared behind him, clutching a steaming mug of coffee.

“That meant that I was his private assistant.” Came the surprisingly level reply. “Not quite part of the regular army per se. More like personal staff. It was a thing higher ups did when I started.” Tenpou handed him the mug. “Most of the time it was an excuse so he could bring me into his office and other restricted areas.” Kenren couldn’t really work out the expression on his superiors face. It was a very carefully constructed poker face, with an unassuming smile plastered on top. He didn’t know what it was, but it was one of the most terrifying things he had ever seen. 

Kenren couldn’t always praise the sudden ways the gears in his mind turned, picking out the inconsistencies in that statement. _excuse… why would he say excuse? And there was that flash of **something** following that..._

“Sugar?” Kenren snapped back to the present, nodding dumbly as Tenpou tore a packet of sugar open with his teeth and pour it into his outstretched mug. Those eyes didn’t leave him the entire time, and Kenren realised that he was breaking out into a cold sweat. “Oh dear, I left the creamer in the kitchen. I know you take two in your coffee.” Tenpou raised his own mug and clinked it with Kenren’s before turning and walking out. 

For some reason, the general’s eyes darted down to see Tenpou’s fist slowly unclench itself followed by it quickly darting into the relative safety of his lab coat pocket. 

Kenren put down the mug and looked down at the uniform, realising again, how much smaller it was compared to the rest. _Hideaki._ He stared at the name, trying to make out the full details, but the embroidery wasn’t in very good shape, as with the rest of the uniform. 

“Could you put that in the trash along with that disgusting prank?” He looked up to see Tenpou come back in, that same blank smile on his face. It was rare that he saw his side of his marshal, more so that it was directed at _him_ and not some troublesome people Tenpou had to deal with in day to day life. Kenren shook his head again, trying to get past the strange fog like feeling he was in. 

Tenpou walked over to him, gently taking the uniform from his hands. “I’m not Yuuki.” Came a soft voice. “Yuuki’s gone, so there’s no point keeping things he used to own.” There was a pregnant pause. “Would you help me get rid of them together? It's hard for me to do it on my own. So I just put shove it to the back of closets and cupboards, and under things.” It's very rare that Tenpou would openly ask for help like this. It wasn’t the overly self confident image he projected to the world. The marshal was looking down, twisting the cloth back and forth. He took a deep breath, holding it in for a second before letting it go. “I’m sorry Taishou, it is probably out of your job scope to even consider something like this.” He raised his head, but didn’t look at him. “Forget what I asked. I’ll just wear one of the other dress uniforms or maybe, something else. I- Ken...ren?” 

The general had suddenly pulled him in for a hug again, holding him close as though he would never let him go again. “Go get us a bite to eat, I’ll walk with you down to the party then come back to help you clean up this mess.” He said, his voice a bit gruff. “I’ve always told you that you need to do a major deep clean anyway.” He ruffled the dark brown hair and let go. “It would be a lot easier if you’re not around to destroy what progress I make anyway by picking up random books you haven’t read in a while from the damn bottom of the stack!” He gave a grin, then kissed Tenpou’s forehead. “And don’t lecture me about my damn job scope. I know exactly what I signed up for, _sir._ ”


	5. Makeover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short chapter, but been working on more! Yes, I write a lot of depressing fluff. Just wait for the next chapter fufufufu

They picked out a formal uniform from the pile in the closet, it turning out to be a rather beautiful shade of dark green, with crimson trim. Kenren helped him find all the fiddly bits that went on it to signify Tenpou’s current rank and division, proudly pinning the last bit medal on the breast. 

“I’m glad you took a shower yesterday.” Kenren said as he took his lover’s glasses off to polish them with a nearby unused uniform. “What are you going to do with your hair? Just tie it up?” He said, reaching for a comb in his pocket. He continued fussing around, smoothing out wrinkles and dusting small bits of lint off, not noticing the small grin on Tenpou’s face. 

The marshal stopped him just before he pulled out some shoe shine. “Kenren. It's just a stupid party. I’m going to get there, drink some horribly warm wine, and then find some excuse to leave. I don’t need to be so primped out.” He laughed, “Just because you like to look good doesn’t mean that you should do one of those makeover things on me.” 

Kenren straightened up, rolling his eyes slightly as he stepped back, giving a low whistle as he surveyed the normally sloppy dresser. “Looking _sexy_ , marshal!” He realised his mistake almost immediately as he saw Tenpou stiffen up slightly, his hands darting to where his sword would be. “Ten-?” 

“Thank you.” Came the surprisingly level comment as Tenpou took a step closer to him. “I don’t mind it if _you_ say it.” The marshal was staring at him, an unreadable look in his eyes again. “I think you’re very sexy too.” He said, a small smile growing as he tiptoed and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. “Just don’t ever call me that in public and I won’t beat your ass into the ground. Hmm?” There was a short pause followed by amused laughter. “You know I can.” He gave another grin and then sauntered off into his office. 

Kenren stared after him, one hand touching the spot where Tenpou had kissed him. It was the first time that the marshal had even kissed him, barring last night’s fuckery. He _was_ healing.


	6. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenpou goes to the party.  
> The next few chapters will contain spiders if anyone's bothered by that. I might make spider-less version if anyone wants it though.  
> PS: Li is still disgusting.

Tenpou took his time to walk over to the garden party, lighting up a cigarette to smoke as he went. His heart rate was still elevated and he needed to calm himself down before making an attempt at socialising. 

Why _was_ he so attracted to the general? It wasn't like him at all. He never thought he'd ever feel this way about anyone. He had always believed himself to be too, well, _broken_ , for the lack of a better word, to even be capable of these feelings. It had been a long time since… the _incident_ after all. There had been no news, even with his surprisingly extensive network of whispers placed around Tenkai. Might as well put it behind him now. Yuuki, the sickly, abused youth is gone. He has a new name, identity, and is hell of a lot stronger than that boy. 

_Even if Li has connected the dots and sent him that disgusting reminder…_

Tenpou took a final drag from his cigarette, noticing that his hands were actually trembling. Nonsense. Li is just an old pervert with more time to waste then sense. 

_I can take him down, easily. I have nothing to be afraid of._

He looked around, noticing that he was getting close to the venue. Perhaps he'll see some old friends and catch up. He’s not going to stay long though, the newest volume of the manga he was reading waiting for him at his office. Plus, the new episode comes out tonight! And also paperwork, but obviously that can wait.

“Ten-nya!” Came the excited squeal and he looked over to see the hostess beaming at him. “You’re early today! How have you been? Let me grab your glass and see who else is here!” She turned around and scanned the glasses laid out on the table, all of them had a name beautifully written in pink ink on them. Probably food colouring painted on the inside with a fine brush or some culinary trick like that. “Here you go! There’s some finger food next to the punch. I put my usual little “extra” touches to it. Shame you aren't in costume though. Ooto-wan-wan-kun seemed set on having an entire group.” She winked and passed him his glass, turning it to show the large drawing of a bespectacled cat next to his name. It was not as… finely done as the calligraphy. “I did the cat myself!” Well, no need to wonder further. “I was going to do the rest of the group too, but it's really takes waaay too much time for something that will dissolve in the punch! Enjoy yourself and don’t get too drunk!” Tenpou replied with the customary laugh and smile, secretly rolling his eyes as he walked away. Honestly, the only reason some people attended her parties was because of the free flow of strong alcohol. It explains the group costumes, honestly. 

He was one of the first to arrive, and didn’t really know any of the others, so he headed to the refreshment table. The today’s theme was pink, or so he supposed. The food seemed to be unnaturally colored pink, which was honestly a bit off-putting, so he went ahead to get a drink, sadly also unnaturally pink, but had a nice ombre effect of dark pink to white. He strongly suspected the white was pure vodka and dipped the scoop a bit further in to get more of the flavouring. He took a sip of the liquid, finding a heavily flavoured rose syrup based concoction, no thanks to his effort, but still with a _lot_ more alcohol than he expected, even with the early warning and his precaution. 

The Satos probably dabble in alcohol imports on the side. A general’s pay is not enough to cover _this_ much imported alcohol that many times a month.

He wandered around, greeting the few he knew and making small talk with the rest. He’s been here for 20 minutes now. Maybe just another 10 minutes more and he’ll make up some excuse to leave. The dress uniform was starting to get on his nerves. It was a bit tighter than he last remembered, probably why Kenren approved of it, honestly. Plus the open collar design meant the skin normally hid under a shirt and tie was starting to burn a little bit from the sun. None of his friends seemed to be present and the thought of the new goodies back home called out to him with every pointless discussion about the weather. 

Goodness, people are getting drunk already. He noticed some holding onto each other or leaning way too conspicuously against a tree or fence. He sipped at his drink, making a face as he tasted the alcohol. 

“Drink not to your liking?” Someone came up to him, and he instinctively batted away the touch on his shoulder. There's only one person here who would be so _casual_. He steeled his face into the affable mask he kept on around people like him.

“Not really. It's a bit too strong for this time of the day, don't you think, minister?” Tenpou felt his skin crawl as he turned to face him. Li was obviously checking him out, not even bothering to hide the way his eyes traveled down his body. His drink wasn’t pink though, nor white. It was some sort of clear brown liquid. Tea, Tenpou hazarded, someone of his age probably shouldn’t be drinking to excess.

Li shook his head, a creepy smile on his face. “I didn't take you for a lightweight, Marshal.” Tenpou resisted the urge to shy away, knowing that was what he wanted him to do. “Such a pretty uniform you have on too. What material is it made out of?” A hand clamped down on his shoulder, firmly sweeping its way in as he moved to finger the fabric at his collar. “And this design hadn't been popular for some time. Not too loose.” A sweep down his body again. “And a nice open collar design so it doesn't get too hot.” His fingers moved to trace his exposed clavicles as Li leaned in to whisper in his ear. “You would be more ravishing in what I sent though.”

“Get your hands off me.” Tenpou growled, his voice low, but with an edge to it. He grabbed the offending hand and pulled it away. “You had no right to send that. It was a disgusting prank, even by your standards.” Again, he could feel the familiar sense of revulsion and fear battling with his newer acquired sense of rage. “I will not now or ever consent to you touching me and if I have to ruin this party to send you to the infirmary, I will.” He stared at him dead in the eyes as he twisted the minister’s hand, just a bit. Don’t want to be accused to breaking an old man’s hand just for some ‘friendly flirtation’ after all. Li tried and failed to hide his wince, and pulled his hand back. _Why do you even try? You’re just an old man past his prime._ Tenpou walked off, trying to calm down. 

The nerve of that… disgusting pig! He shuddered as he took a sip of his drink, suddenly welcoming the added alcohol. Tenpou managed to keep a distance from Li at all times at the party, feeling his stomach turn everytime he looked at him. His hand again went to where his sword would be, finding nothing there. No weapons at a social gathering after all. 

His glass was nearly empty, and he planned to leave once it was finished. He caught Li staring at him again and turned away, downing the rest of his drink. Ugh, the artificial rose flavouring had such a horrible aftertaste. “Chiyo-san!” He called out, trying to find the hostess. Ten minutes up, glass empty, time to go. 

The party was getting more crowded and he couldn't find her. Perhaps he'll leave without saying goodbye, it won’t be the first time he had done that. A spider swung into view at the edges of his vision. Tenpou tried to bat it away, but couldn’t find it. No matter. You can’t avoid bugs at a garden party after all. He took a step forward, suddenly feeling dizzy. Someone jostled past him and he struggled to keep his balance. The alcohol must have hit a lot later than expected. Best to get back and let Kenren draw him a nice bath to read the manga in. 

There was a commotion. Apparently the hostess had passed out. Strange. Chiyo could drink her own weight in pure vodka. The person next to him suddenly collapsed as well. Her husband. General Sato. What, both of them?

His vision was getting dark, and for some reason he kept on seeing spiders swing in and out of view. No… This can't be the effect of only alcohol… He needed to get away… “Marshal, are you feeling alright?” He couldn't even know where the question came from. The last thing he saw was a jumble of colour and shapes as the world dissolved into nothingness.


	7. Cleanup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wtf is Kenren doing during all these, you ask?  
> Exactly what he signed up for. /s  
> Tenpou has friends, ya know. He's an adult with a job and friends. Like anyone else.

Kenren dug through the entire contents of Tenpou’s apartment. Anything that looked even remotely suspicious was tossed into a nondescript garbage bag. He didn't want to think too much about what he found, turning off the part of his mind that noted all the stains and rips and how much smaller the clothing were. 

He had finally thrown the last of the bags out, not caring that it wasn't going to be burnable trash day for at least two more days. The office looked so much more tidier. With all the junk gone, there was more space to actually shelve ninety percent of the books instead of just sixty. Kenren sighed with content, picking up one last manga volume straggler. It was still wrapped. He looked at it, then smiled. The latest volume of that silly manga series Tenpou denied liking. Didn’t Tenpou already have a copy though? Must have been the previous volume then. He used a fingernail to slice open the shrinkwrap, placing it on the sofa for his lover to read later. 

With a start, Kenren realised that it was almost sunset. The party was at 2pm, and Tenpou did say that he was just going to stay an hour maximum. Maybe he went for an afterparty or drinks with friends? The marshal had no shortage of, well, Tenpou called them “friends”, but Kenren would label them more as “informants”. 

The door opened, and Kenren stretched, putting on an overly tired act. “You're late! Did you get dinner already? I spent aaall day cleaning up your room, Ten-kuma-kun!”

“Ew.” That wasn't Tenpou’s voice. Kenren turned, finding a stern looking blond man standing at the door. “Where is Tenpou?” This stranger wasted no time. This guy is new. Doesn’t seem to be the kind of person Tenpou’s friends with. Informant it is then. “I assume you're the new transfer. I would hope that you behave yourself a lot better than the previous excuse for scum in uniform.” He sneered at him, “Not like you look any different.” 

A fucking rude informant to be exact. “And who might you be, blondie?!” Kenren challenged, realizing that he was still wearing his cleaning apron and hairnet from earlier. “Tenpou’s still at the party, if you really must know. Now get out!”

Another scoff. “He invited me to come over last week. He said he wanted to pass me some… books.” Kenren caught the sudden flush of embarrassment as the stranger coughed and took a step closer. “But if he isn't here, I won't waste my time.” He looked around, focusing on the clock. “Are you absolutely sure he is at the party? Its 10 minutes past, and Kamen Ri- a show he always watches, airs at this time on the Lower World. That's the whole reason he picked his apartment, there is a viewing pond he can control from the bedroom window.” An arched eyebrow. “Or do you really think he takes an entire half hour to smoke at his bedroom window while laughing to himself?” The derision suddenly turned to worry as he continued with his train of thought. “It's not a rerun tonight. It's the new episode after the hiatus so there is no way he'll… Which party was he at? Damn, it's probably the one I skipped today because of the high number of perv…” Gray eyes stared right at him, trying to make a decision. “Never mind, you're new and useless. I'll notify his unit and get him. You stay here and continue playing housemaid.” The blond suddenly turned around and started brisk walking off to the direction of the barracks.

Kenren stared after him then cursed, ripping off his hairnet as he started running after him. “What's going on? Did something bad happen to Tenpou?! Who are you?!”

The blond kept walking even faster, “You can call me Konzen. I'm his oldest friend and I know that he _never_ misses an episode of Kame- never mind! We need to find him and fast!” 

“Are you even allowed to be here?!” Kenren yelled as they made their way to the barracks. Surprisingly, the men from their unit recognized his blond stranger, crowding around them.

“Douji-sama, what is it? We haven't seen you here for a long time.”

“Shut up, Tenpou isn't at his office. Anyone knows his location?” That caught their attention, and he could feel the crowd getting worried.

“He could be out drinking with friends!” Kenren interjected, feeling like the only sane person left in the crowd. “He's an adult with a job and friends like anyone else, isn’t he?” Isn’t he?

That seemed to calm them down slightly until Konzen pointed at the large clock in the middle of the room. “Its 20 minutes past um, _the show_. Today is not a rerun plus it's the new special guest star episode after the damn hiatus! We, I mean, _he’s_ been waiting all season for this episode! What are you waiting for?! GO! I'll clean up the paperwork as usual!” 

The men suddenly scattered, all of them seemingly knowing their own path as though this was a well practiced routine. Konzen sighed then looked at the confused general. “Aren't you going to look? He was last with you and he… he actually seems to hold you in _some_ regard, so you should have an idea of where he might be. Who is the latest one now?” He asked, rubbing his temples as he sat down in a chair. When Kenren didn't seem to reply, Konzen stared up at him. “The latest pervert? Stalking, sending disgusting messages, trying to touch him without his consent? Tenpou doesn’t tell me their names. He's thinks I might-.” 

“Douji-sama!” It was one of their men. “I've checked the infirmary and he wasn't there, but there was a lot of people who attended the same party and collapsed! They were saying its food poisoning!” The infirmary wasn't that far from these quarters so it wasn't that much of a stretch that he could have run over and checked back in such a short time. “They don’t seem be having the shits though, they were just lying there, all kind of loopy and out of it.”

“Did anyone bring Tenpou to the infirmary? He usually stays there till he's healed.” Konzen snapped. 

The soldier shook his head. “No, our Marshal was amongst the first to collapse but for some reason no one brought him there. I couldn't get much answers out of the loopy ones but I think some attendees who stayed nearby might have brought others to their home instead of the infirmary. You know how cramped it gets in there...” The party was close to the civilian areas, a semi wealthy part of Tenkai. Not many officers could afford to live there. Mostly politicians and...

“LI!” Kenren suddenly shouted, white hot rage engulfing him. “Its that slimy fucker Li Touten. I bet my life on it!” He looked to the soldier standing there. “Give me your gun, NOW soldier!” There was no hesitation as he was tossed a handgun, loaded with tranquilizer bullets, but better than nothing. “Get the rest and follow me!” 

Kenren took off in a run, not bothering to check if anyone else was following. 

No! Not now. Not with all the progress you’ve made. 

I won’t let anyone hurt you again. 

I promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just figured Konzen would be a closet otaku, honestly. Also because its hilarious to imagine young Konzen and Tenpou sneaking out to steal the ~~big tv~~ Kanzeon's Lily Pond to watch Super Sentai.


	8. Spiders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spiders are pretty cool things you know? I have a few that live in my bathroom. They eat all the small little water flies that wander in.

His head hurt. That was the first thing he noticed. Second was that he was lying on a soft surface. No blanket. Third, there was a spider sitting right on his nose. He supposed it was a spider… it had 8 legs, and the correct type of body segmentation but he had never seen a spider that darkly pigmented before. It was almost like someone erased the world behind the black hole spider, he couldn’t make out any more finer details than the outline of it. He blinked and it was gone. He felt sluggish, every little action seemed to take thrice the amount of willpower it normally did. 

_Where are my glasses?_ It was dark and he struggled to make out where he was. _This isn't my office…_ Tenpou tried to sit up, but couldn't. _Why can’t I bring my hands down?_ He pulled, straining as he realised that he was cuffed to the bedpost. He saw a key, precariously perched on top of the post slip down in between the mattress and the frame. Damn. There was no way he could reach it by himself. Hopefully it's just a stupid hazing prank or something like that.

“Not funny, guys.” He called out, managing to pull himself up so he could sit. “Ootoya, if this is because because I didn't wear your costume, I swear...” Suddenly there were more spiders, crawling at the edge of his vision. The room swam before him, and he blinked, trying to make sense of the world. _This is his house… I thought I burned it down after the-_ Spiders again, spinning a web over his vision. A part of him knew that it wasn't the place in his past. It couldn't be. 

He heard a door open, someone came in and them locked the door behind them. “Again, not funny, Ootoya. Let me go.” Tenpou called out, trying to keep to one narrative. Why are there so many fucking spiders?

A weight on the bed. Someone pushed him against the headboard, moving in for a kiss. Dreadlocked hair and stubble. Li Touten? Spiders spun their web again, and the person changed, grew familiarly larger and impossibly more terrifying. “Husband?” He whispered after the kiss was broken off. “No…”

Li chuckled, surveying the now vulnerable man cuffed to his bed. “She told me it would cause hallucinations but not that it would be this strong.” He mused. “Not that I’m complaining.” He ran a hand down Tenpou’s face, revelling as Tenpou closed his eyes, and looked down. His wrist still hurt, but that meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. “I don’t mind you calling me husband though. You were supposed to be mine anyway but that meathead outbid me.” He unbuttoned the uniform top, and slid his hands inside. “I doubt you've taken any partners after him, have you?” 

Tenpou shook his head, his eyes unfocused. “Father doesn't let me out often… I don’t know what you mean by that. What's a virgin?” The spiders had changed the room again, to the smoky tea parlor of his auction. Dimly, he could feel someone touching him, but that part of him seemed to be far away. The touches grew more insistent and painful. 

_Ow!_. A spider bit him. He blinked, and the web fell away. _Li?_

“Don’t touch me.” He hissed, as the spiders spun another web. It was dark as well, and his tent had an unmissable hole in it, so he had reluctantly bunked in with his newly transferred general. The touching immediately stopped then. _Sorry. Should have kept my hands to myself. I just thought you were into me. I won't touch you again._ An echo of someone familiar. Safe even.

The touching didn't stop now.

Li grinned, tipping up the marshal’s face to study him closer. “Is that any way to talk to your husband?” He whispered, moving down to bite down hard at the junction of his nape and neck. That got the reaction he was hoping for and he watched as Tenpou’s eyes focused back on him, pure anger in his glare as he pulled hard at his restraints. It only lasted for a second before they unfocused again.

_Ow! Stupid spider bite! Where am I? Li? I will get you for this! I swear I w-_

Husband was terrifying. Large and muscular. He was also made up of darkness against soft light. Husband didn't like the look of glasses on his wife, so he forbid him wearing them in his presence. _I don’t remember his face anymore… I rarely see him with my glasses on..._ Husband was strong. He could hold Yuuki down with one arm pressed against his neck until the boy stopped struggling and submitted. _That's not strength at all… I was so weak then, and he basically choked me until I really couldn't fight back. That's cheating!_

There wasn't any pressure against his neck now though. Strange. Tenpou felt the familiar grasp on his knees, trying to pull his legs apart. 

Li grinned, but something felt a bit off somehow. He had expected more resistance but the hallucinations kept the marshal mostly pliant. It wasn't as fun if Tenpou thought it was his former spouse fucking him. Again, maybe another shock would bring him back to reality. Where next? He looked down, seeing the slim muscular thighs struggling to keep themselves together against him.

Husband had a vice-like grip. No matter how much he struggled, Yuuki could never kick hard enough to get him to let go. The grip on his ankle felt different somehow, it wasn't a vice, it barely had a tenth of the strength husband had. “Husband? Is that you?” The web of spiders had grown so thick he could barely see, converging to form a giant spider mass of darkness that crawled towards him.

He watched as the spider sunk its fangs into his thigh and he screamed. All of a sudden, everything went back into focus. His head still hurt but he could feel some strength returning to his limbs. _You’re not husband!_ Tenpou instinctively kicked out, feeling the heel of his foot dig hard into yielding flesh and against cracking bone. The weight on the bed was gone. Tenpou blinked, the spiders were starting to form up again. He didn't know how long he had until they spun their web and pulled him under. He could see a flesh coloured mass on the floor next to the bed, along with a red puddle. Good. Hopefully he killed the pervert. He was right, he had nothing to be afraid of.

Tenpou looked at his cuffed hands, realizing that they were slick with blood too. _Blood on my hands yet again, huh?_ The spiders were encroaching on the edge of his vision and this time he just closed his eyes and let them take him under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have another 5 chapters already written. I usually keep a buffer in case I need to ret-con certain things.
> 
> Patience, dear readers who are somehow still here.


	9. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peek into the past.   
> All warnings apply.

By the time he got there, it was dark. Kenren cursed as he broke down the door and ran up the stairs. 

It… wasn't the scene he had expected. Kenren flicked on the lights, looking around. He was in a dingy bedroom. Tenpou was sitting against the headboard, whispering things that he couldn’t quite hear. His uniform was mostly pulled off him, but Kenren didn’t see any _emission_ between his legs, only a large bruise forming on his thigh. He looked around, seeing Li naked out cold on the floor, he was bleeding from somewhere, but unfortunately still alive. 

Kenren went over to the bed, gently placing a hand on his lover's shoulder to better look at him. Kenren noticed the bloody handcuffs, the pervert didn’t even think to get the sex toy type with padding. “Tenpou? Its me. Are you alright?” Something was wrong. His eyes were open but they weren’t focusing on anything. And up close, Kenren could hear that he was whispering about spiders softly to himself, but had no reaction to him whatsoever. 

_Spiders? Fuck. FUCK! It can’t be!_ Kenren looked around, upending all the drawers and cabinets in the room until he found what he was looking for. An unmarked bottle half full of pink powder. How did Li even manage to smuggle it into Tenkai, he didn't know. This was a banned drug nearly everywhere he could think of. It was hard to find, and not many even knew about its existence. He remembered when it was first made on Earth as a recreational drug gone wrong. The army had hell to deal with to get all of it seized and destroyed. The recipe was lost to time and rightfully so. He shoved the bottle into his pocket and went over to Tenpou again. 

The drug was lethal to mortals, but kami usually snapped out of it in a matter of hours or days depending on how much was ingested. Tenpou still didn't respond to his name. Hours had passed since the party, how much did he take?! Kenren looked at him, suddenly noticing the deep bite mark at the junction of his neck. Sharp pain sometimes brought them back to reality, but only for a short while. 

He didn't want to do this, but he had searched the entire room while looking for the drug but still couldn't find the key to the handcuffs. The bed post was made out of wrought iron, and it would take too long to untangle him from it without the key. Kenren went over to Touten, giving him a kick. No response as well. He went back to the bed, brushing the hair back from his lover’s face. “Ten-chan, I don't want to hurt you but I need you to come back to me.” He then pressed down on the bite mark. 

_It was Husband's birthday today. It was his first celebration since he married Yuuki a month ago. Yuuki remembered that usually people give presents to the birthday person. It had to be good though. It will be coming from his wife! But Yuuki didn't have much money. Perhaps he'll make something nice for dinner? Yuuki isn't that good at cooking though and husband usually ate out and brought leftovers home for him. Husband usually wasn't home, so Yuuki normally passed the time by reading whatever was in the house if he felt strong enough. Sometimes it hurt too much to get out of bed though. Husband has some books about military strategy next to the bed but Yuuki has never seen Husband read them. It's fine though. Yuuki likes the books, it's a new topic and a lot different from manga. A lot more text to be sure. At least Yuuki is learning new words now. Yuuki couldn’t go to school regularly because of health reasons, but Yuuki wanted to learn more! How does the world work? Yuuki wanted to explore outside but.. Yuuki couldn't go out of the house anyway, Husband locks the main door and he has all the keys._

_Sometimes if Yuuki displeased Husband, Husband will lock the door to the kitchen so Yuuki has to wait and hope that Husband brings leftovers back for him. Husband didn't lock the kitchen today though. Maybe Yuuki can make something. Shoo, spider! Go away! You’re on top of the eggs! The spider crawled up his arm and-_

Ow! A spider bite. 

Tenpou opened his eyes. He was in an unfamiliar place, but he could see Kenren next to him. Kenren was frantically asking him something, but couldn’t make out the words. The spiders deftly rebuilt the web and the next thing he knew was that Yuuki was waiting for Husband to come home. 

_Yuuki got his yukata wet earlier so Yuuki had to find something else to wear, which was just an apron. Yuuki doesn’t have that many clothes yet. Hopefully the yukata will dry before Husband gets back. Husband said something before about getting Yuuki fitted for a uniform. That sounds like fun!_

_Husband was later than usual today. Maybe Husband went out for birthday drinks. Yuuki doesn't like it when Husband drinks. He smells like Stepfather when he comes back. It's getting late and Yuuki is tired. Yuuki will just close his eyes for a moment. Yuuki will wake up before Husband is back, for sure._

_Husband is back! Yuuki didn't realise!_

_Yuuki smiled nervously up at him. “Happy birthday, Husband.” Husband smells like Stepfather. Maybe Husband will fall asleep on the sofa like Stepfather does after he drinks._

_“You remembered my birthday? Hmn, I suppose a little mouse like you can remember things.” Yuuki didn't know what Husband meant by that but he just smiled anyway. Stepfather said that he had to love Husband, so he's trying. “What are you wearing little mouse?” Oh no! Yuuki forgot to change! “Is this my present?” Husband was very close to him. It scared Yuuki. No! Husband got it wrong! The present is the cake!_

_“Your present is over there, Husband. It's a cake! I'm not that good at baking but it should taste good.” Yuuki kept still. He didn't want Husband to hurt him today. He didn't want Husband to hurt him at all but he had to do whatever Husband told him._

_Husband looked over at the melted cake, stuck a finger in it, then licked it off. “Its okay, but I prefer this present instead…”_

_Out of the corner of his eye, Tenpou saw a massive spider crawl up to him but he didn’t care anymore. All these spider induced *things* were worse than his nightmares. At least he can wake up from the nightmares to find Kenren next to him, holding him tight._

_The spider bites just change the scenario, usually for the worse, but hopefully the next one will be better. The spider crawled up his arm and onto his shoulder, strangely weightless for a creature of that size, up to his neck and then bit. Hard. Very, very hard, it was somehow more painful than any of the spider bites so far._  
  
Tenpou jolted back to reality. His throat was sore, he must have been screaming. His arms felt unnaturally stiff, as if he had been keeping the same position for some time. Dried blood encircled his wrists along with shiny silver handcuffs. Kenren was asking him about a key. Tenpou looked at him, struggling to keep the spiders at bay again. Kenren had a bit of blood on his lips. Silly general… Must have gotten into a fight again. Wait, back to the topic… Key.. He knew where it was. Why won’t his voice cooperate?! “Ma..ttress.” He finally choked out. “Fell bet...ween-” The web was rebuilt much too fast. He was gone.

Kenren shook his head again. At least he got more than a split second of lucidity this time. He felt between the mattress and bed frame, finding what could only be the key to the cuffs. “Let's get you home Ten-chan.” He buttoned up Tenpou’s top, hiding away the freshly bleeding bite mark next to the one Li gave him. “I’m sorry. I broke my promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting for this chapter took fucking forever.   
> Let me know if I missed out closing html tags or whatever. (And yes, I'm an oldie who still types like LJ's rich text function works half the time)


	10. The Offical Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its a free press, isn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got over the writers block so here's a tiny not really chapter.  
> It wouldn't really fit in the back or front of an actual chapter so here it is.

The Official Story

Food poisoning and mass hysteria at a military garden party thrown by renowned hostess Sato Chiyo, wife to General Sato Ichigo.

Mdm Sato is no stranger to throwing parties of all kinds, but this was the first time she ever had such a disaster. The star of the party was the exotic Rose Cocktail dreamt up by Mdm Sato herself, but all went wrong when she used a expired packet of pink food colouring.

Most of the attendees suffered from hallucinations after collapsing a mere hour after the party had begun. The first to fall prey was Mdm Sato herself, followed by her husband, General Sato, and Marshal Ran Tenpou. Those who came later were not affected as badly as the early birds, showing that sometimes it is better to have others else test the worm.

Due to the large influx of patients needing medical attention from the infirmary, Minister Li Touten had graciously put up Marshal Tenpou in his bedroom while he called for a private doctor. Li was in the midst of changing into fresh attire to go out and fetch the doctor, when he slipped and fell, knocking him unconscious with a gash on his arm that needed twelve stitches. Luckily an unnamed soldier from the Western Army had come to drop off some documents for the Minister, and found them both. Marshal Tenpou and the Minister are expected to make a full recovery.

The later guests recovered a few hours after getting some rest.

This is a reminder to please check that your ingredients are not expired before using them. 

Host, and party responsibly.

Reporting by Kobayashi Jiro  
Excerpt from The Tenkai Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also this has zero formatting so its easy to post from my phone   
> I'll get off my ass and to a pc for the actual chapter sometime in the next few hours.


	11. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What even is Kenren?  
> Let's find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late update.  
> I ko-ed right after posting the last one.

Kenren laid the marshal back down on his own bed. He was still mumbling softly to himself, his eyes unfocused and half open. There wasn’t much Kenren could do about it other than let the drug run its course. Every once in a while he could hear Tenpou cry out, but his voice was so soft and cracked that he couldn’t even make out what form of nightmare it was.

He pulled the bottle out from his pocket, looking hard at it. The army had destroyed all of them. He was sure about that. But the bottle seemed new, with a fresh cork stopper. Someone was making them again. But who? He was lucky enough to had never taken the drug before, but he seen what it did to both mortals and kami alike. It wasn’t enough to have the hallucinations, but the hallucinations were always _bad_. Sometimes they dredged out old painful memories. Sometimes they just straight up created new ones. And the worst mixed the two. Kenren put the bottle back in his pocket. It would be dangerous if Li found out that he had taken it. This is grade A contraband and if it was found in Kenren’s possession, he had no doubt the minister would push for the highest sentence possible. He had to get rid of it, and fast. If he left now, he can lob the bottle back into the garden party. Then it would be the Satos’ problem, not his. Kenren stood up, feeling the weight of it pull heavily on him.

“Kenren…” He immediately looked over, hoping that Tenpou had broken out of it but, no luck. “Kenren… Don’t leave me.” The words were so soft that he might have imagined them. “Please.”

There was no point in staying. Tenpou would be hallucinating for at least a few more hours. He could get one of the men to stay with him.

“I like it when you hold me. It makes me feel safe.” This was a past memory. He had this conversation with him before. “Don’t go. Please.”

He had to get rid of the bottle. It was the sane thing to do. Tenpou suddenly winced and touched his shoulder. “It hurts…” The wound was bleeding through his uniform, dark crimson spots appearing on the green cloth and his entire hand from the wrist down were practically red. “You won’t hurt me. You promised.” There was no way. There was no way Tenpou would have known it was him. “Kenren, hold me please.” He didn’t even realise when he had kicked his boots off, but he was in bed with him, pulling his lover up to rest on his chest. He stroked the dark brown hair, humming softly.

If he was caught with the drug, he’ll be dead. Li would make sure of it and move in on Tenpou. That bastard managed to get his hands on the drug once, he can do it again. Plus who is to say he won’t stage a coup with it? That power hungry minister would do whatever he could to get his way. Including drugging an entire military party just to get the chance to rape one soldier. That’s why he _had_ to leave now and get rid of it. “I don’t remember the bad things when I’m with you.” Maybe a few more minutes then.

Kenren turned to see the first few rays of sunrise come in through the window. Sometime in the past few hours, Tenpou had quietly stopped murmuring about spiders and fell asleep at last. Kenren couldn’t say when. He also couldn’t say why he stayed the night for someone who won’t remember it at all. He had never fallen in love with any of the people he slept with. He was always the one to sneak out in the early rays much like now and never call them back. He even once snuck out five minutes after they were done because he didn’t like the decor in the room. Then _why_ did he stay now?

Plus there was the matter of _that_ other thing. He was supposed to toss it in the trash, but he just couldn’t. He needed to find out more. For his peace of mind. Kenren carefully reached into his pocket and pulled out the folded letter. It couldn’t be. Everything matched up though. The house symbol, the kanji for the name, the seal even. But why? He dimly remembered growing up with what he would now mock as ‘rich ass pansy boy privileges’. But to go to this extent?

Kenren looked through the letter, noting the thickness and weight to the paper. _He_ wouldn’t waste the good stationery on things he felt were trivial and this were the best papers he owned. The message was just a brief reply from someone interested in the bridal auction. Fuck, he could even _hear_ him dictating the letter right now.

~~  
**Dear Mr Ran,**  


**Thank you for the photo and details about your upcoming auction.**

**After much consideration, I would like to participate. Please mark me down as attending.**

**I believe Yuuki would suit either my eldest son, Kenichi, or the youngest one, Kenren, very well.**

**Kenichi has been rather jealous of his brother Kenji’s married life and he is looking to settle down quick. Kenichi has passed the bar exam recently, so he can provide decently for a new couple. As you know, lawyers are very busy and will not have time for children. Thus, your Yuuki would make a perfect addition to the family. Kenichi also enjoys reading in his spare time. Yuuki will never run out of new material to read.**

**Kenren, on the other hand, is a bit of a handful. He is reckless with his life and I believe having someone to look after, and to look out for him, will help temper his attitude. He will not be a good father, but he does enjoy a pretty face. You write that Yuuki has a hidden spark in his frail body, and after meeting the both of you at the restaurant recently, I do see it as well. Hopefully your Yuuki can tame Kenren’s brightly burning fire, without dimming his own.**

**Please forward me the finalised details as soon as you can.**

**Looking forward to your reply.**  


**Regards,**  
**Lord Kamiki Kenta.  
** ~~

Unbidden, his thoughts drifted back to a particular exchange in the past.

 _Tenpou crying against his chest, “I wish you had bought me instead of him. I really wish that.”_  
Kenren remembered his reply all too well.  
_“Well, I was probably still a captain and would have to sell myself into slavery to afford your starting price.”_  
It was a joke! I didn’t know my father was actually planning on it! Fuck!

Kenren had run away from the family for the last time then. A day right after this letter was sent to be exact. He couldn’t take it. The pressures placed on him by his family, his overachieving brothers sneering down at his failing school reports. And his father, the all wise and knowing Kamiki fucking Kenta, always telling him what to do and how exactly fucking do it every single damn day. He had his children’s lives planned out the hour they were born and only the emperor can help you if you deviated even a bit. Kenren simply changed the kanji of his surname and joined the army. No one batted an eye at his noble chakra, and if they did, he beat them up till they were left with black eyes and a new respect for him.

Kenren cursed out loud. It was millenia since he last saw his family. But it's time to go back and ask Kamiki fucking Kenta why and how he lost the auction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I vaguely remember Minekura saying Kenren was from a noble family, and then my imagination ran away with me.


	12. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenpou wakes up.

Kenren was looking at the bottle again, quickly hiding it when he felt Tenpou stir awake.

“Ugh… my head…” Tenpou groggily sat up, looking down at Kenren with a smile. “What… what happened yesterday? All I remember is trying to control myself from twisting Li's whole arm off for touching me at the party.” He rolled his eyes and made a face. “I don’t even know why that old pervert tries.”

All this just cemented the truth about the drug. Kenren gave an uneasy smile and pulled the brunette back down on his chest. “You just drank a lot.” He lied, “Silly Marshalmallow…” Even he could hear the hollowness of his words. “Th..that's all.”

At one point, Tenpou would have challenged him on that, asked what was he hiding, but for some reason he didn't. All he did was to stare up at Kenren, a drowsy half smile on his face. “Hey… I was thinking…”

“About what?” Kenren replied when the silence got too much to bear.

Tenpou scooted up so that he was staring down at his lover, his dark brown hair falling like a curtain over them. “I want to try it again. With you.” He took a deep breath and smiled, an embarrassed blush on his face. “It might take a while, and I've never… you know I've never had a good experience with it but... I know you won't ever hurt me. So, if you’re up for it, I… I expressively give my consent to you.”

A kiss after, full hearted and unforced.

Tenpou was a surprisingly good kisser after all… Kenren thought as a surge of blood raced southwards.

They broke off, panting softly as Tenpou rolled off him, taking his hand in his. “Sorry if that came out a little too sappy.” He laughed, unconsciously rubbing his wrist with the other hand. “Ouch! Hmn?” Kenren turned to look at him, his eyes uncomfortably drawn to the bruising bite mark uncovered by the top. “What… blood?”

Tenpou let go of his hand and sat up, pulling his sleeves up to look at his wrists. He kept still and Kenren recognized the exercise the military taught all the recruits on their first day on how to mentally sweep your body for any injuries or pain. His heart broke as Tenpou slowly touched his neck, wincing audibly then pressed lightly on his thigh. “What happened to me?” The unspoken *soldier?* was almost as clear as day. This wasn't the Tenpou who liked to cuddle on his chest and read to him. This was his _Marshal_ , cold and impersonal. The eyes had changed too, to the slightly narrowed and angry gaze he often wore in the battlefield. “General! Answer me!” Came the biting follow up when he took too long to reply.

Why couldn't he reply? _What_  could he even say? If he explained a bit, he had to explain everything. “Tenpou, I'm sorr-” was all he managed to come out with before the Marshall pushed away from him, stumbling off the bed.

“I shouldn't have trusted you. Why did I ever think you were different?” That was his Tenpou, sounding his best to be impersonal but he could feel the betrayal in his voice. “Get out. Now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
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> **Feedback**
> 
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	13. Duality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenren can't figure Tenpou out and Tenpou can't take Kenren seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if anyone would still recognise the manga/anime Tenpou's talking about.

“Tenpou, no! It wasn't me!” Kenren pleaded, reaching out for him but he stepped away. “I would never hurt you. You know that, right?” He got off the bed, somehow ending up on his knees, reaching out to his love. “You know I'm _safe._ Why else would you keep on telling me that almost every night.” 

“Why did you lie.” The question hung sharply in the air but the only thing Kenren could think of was how _dangerously beautiful_ his marshal was. The morning sun was coming up behind him, highlighting the messy chocolate hair, the seductive disarray of a uniform half torn off a body that was usually kept painstakingly hidden. It was the worst thing to notice, given his past as well as the events of last night but he couldn't help himself. And that pretty face, rumored to the be the prettiest in the army, glaring at him. Tenpou has a very tiny pout when he glares, which for some reason Kenren found utterly adorable. Not that he could ever voice that out. Not unless he _did_ want to get his ass beaten into the ground. 

He had fallen for that. At first the pretty face, who could resist one anyway? But after, the self confidence, the irreverent sense of humor, that strangely child like sense of wonder and curiosity, the commanding presence on the battlefield, all of them, and more drew him in. How could so many different things exist at once in one person? How did the child bride Yuuki turn into Marshal Tenpou? How is it that all Kenren wanted to do for the rest of his life was to be with this enigma of a kami?

“Kenren.” Came the followup, piercing through the haze. “What is happening? You look like you're going to propose and we both know that's something you'll never be caught doing. Also what is wrong with your face?” 

The general snapped out of it, finding Tenpou trying to stifle his laughter. 

“I'm _trying_ to be angry with you but I just can't while you're on your knees with your hand holding what seems to be an imaginary rose together with your face making that goofy expression.” Tenpou tried to get the brevity of the situation back but kept on cracking up. “With blond hair and a blue jacket you could be part of the host club even.” he mused. Tenpou tried to get back on track, “Kenren. Why did you lie t- oh damn it, you'd be a perfect Mori, you have the height and everything... How hard can it be to get a blue jacket tailored anyway?” 

Kenren blinked a few times, trying to reassure himself that he wasn't dreaming. He also slowly started to smile. There it was, another reason why he couldn't get out of the spell the marshall had effortlessly cast over him. How did that sexily dangerous man he was bestruck by earlier change in the blink of an eye to the adorkable manga quoting otaku in front of him? Not that he preferred one over the other, far from it, but he couldn't wrap his head around the entirety of how much he just **loved** this kami. 

“Tenpou.” Came a third voice. “I see you're awake.” It was the blonde from earlier. “What - Are you being proposed to?” Konzen came in, cocking an amused eyebrow at the general still on his knees. “I don't think you can get much of a dowry from his side though. Unless he stops using his fake name and goes crawling back to his family.”

Now was the cue for both of them to turn and stare at Konzen. 

“Kenren is an orphan. I saw his file before he came in.” Tenpou replied, looking back at his general for confirmation. “Unless you're not?”

Konzen sighed. “You never did care for your men's background, Ten-chan. As long as they're competent and not creeps you'll let them get away with anything. It's quite a talking point with the higher ups you know.* Konzen went over to the kneeling general and poked him in the head, narrowly missing his chakra. “You never wondered why this idiot has _this_ on his face? Someone with the marking of one of the very, very, extremely, disgustingly old money families?” Konzen poked him again, harder this time. “Someone who went to the same exclusive private schools as I did but spent half the time goofing off and the other half in detention?” 

Kenren just stared at the blond, mouth agape. Slowly, the memory jogged back into his mind, vaguely recalling a quiet snobbish blond kid who usually sat in the front of the class, never did anything of import and this never registered in his mind as someone to remember long after the torture called school ended.

“My name is Kaneki Ke-” He started, trying desperately to get his bearings back but was cut off again by his smirking ex classmate.

“Someone who for some idiotic reason thought that changing one kanji in his surname while keeping literally everything else the same could evade notice for long, Ka- **MI** -ki Kenren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
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> **Whisper**  
>  If you don't want a reply for any reason, please feel free to sign your comment with "whisper" and I will appreciate but not reply. I do understand that this fic is quite uhh not very PG-ish (at the very least) so I will get it if you feel a bit awkward to get a reply (esp if you are on anon)


	14. Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of talking.  
> You've been warned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was 2 short chapters that got Frankenstein-ed into one larger-ish chapter.  
> Enjoy??

All Kenren could do was open and close his mouth, his mind suddenly blank. He looked over at Tenpou, seeing him lost in thought, his brows furrowed with tiny pout version two on his lips. He slowly got up, unsure about how to proceed suddenly. 

Konzen coughed, realising the sudden tension he brought into the room. “This came for you a few days ago but was nearly thrown out because the military didn't have a Kamiki Kenren on file, but I happened to have your enlistment record open and I noticed that you had written your family name correctly the first time around and then lazily scribbled out the middle kanji. Try harder would you?” He threw a letter on the end table. “And _you_ need to sit down and eat something.” Konzen directed that comment to the silently thinking Tenpou. “Oh for fu-.” 

Konzen sighed then skillfully maneuvered his friend over to the dining table and sat him down. “Idiot.” He called out, glaring at Kenren who had wordlessly tailed them into the next room. “Go out and get some food. I'll try and fix something from his kitchen but both of us know he only has coffee and crackers in there at any given time.” 

_Rude._

“Kenren stay.” Came the first few words from the marshall, finally snapping out of his thoughts. “Kon-chan knows what to buy anyway.” He smiled up at his friend, and with a roll of his eyes from the blond, Konzen left the room. 

Now its back to the two of them in the room. Kenren couldn’t figure out what to do next. Leave? No. Stay? But what if Tenpou doesn’t want him to stay? He took a quick look at the kami, seeing him take a deep breath then look back up at him.

Inscrutable green eyes met his. “Sit.” Came the command. Kenren did so, unsure of what to say or even do. 

Where to even start? His family? Tenpou’s family? That fucker Li? That other fucker Hideaki? That there’s training with the men in a few hours time? The manga yesterday? Luckily, Tenpou started first.

“Konzen was right about that. That I don't care about where my men are from as long as I can trust them. I've been lucky so far that most of them _can _be trusted.”__

__This felt like the lead up to a lecture. It felt strange. Kenren would usually tune out all of the scoldings and such from whenever he had to suffer through them but he couldn't remove himself from this particular one. In fact he could never _not_ pay attention to Tenpou's words. Even from the start. _ _

__“I don't care if you were the son of a royal or noble. You pull your weight on the field, you get along well with the others in the unit. You have more smarts than people give you credit for. And despite your womanizing reputation, you respect the wishes of those you pursue. I've never heard any rumours of you forcing yourself on anyone, which is the only red flag I would screen for my men. You've probably guessed why by now.”_ _

__A half smile at that statement, and casually the marshall produced a box of cigarettes from somewhere and offered him one. Kenren took it, fishing a lighter out from his pockets to light both of them. This felt a bit more normal. Somehow. Tenpou continued on with his not quite a lecture._ _

__“You also know by now that I wasn't given my current name, so it would be hypocritical of me to get mad at you for changing yours as well. Though I do hope that you will respect my wishes by not calling me by that name. Sakamoto Yuuki is dead. He was killed by his spouse, Sakamoto Hideaki a few centuries ago in a fit of drunken rage that resulted in their house burning to the ground. Hus-”_ _

__Tenpou stopped himself and took a deep breath. He leaned out and tapped his cigarette out in the frog ashtray between them. Kenren saw his other hand clench then slowly spread out his fingers again. Again, that sign._ _

__“ _Hideaki_ , unfortunately is still alive. Barely so, but alive. He is in the the infirmary, room 8, bed 6. He has never had a visitor. He wouldn't notice even if he had any.” Kenren looked at Tenpou, seeing him staring off into the distance while he smoked. _ _

__The entire speech felt extremely casual, excessively so, as though it had been rehearsed and refined over the years to get to that level. He didn’t doubt the truth of any of it though._ _

__Kenren waited expectantly for more but the silence dragged on. Again, Kenren saw Tenpou’s fist slowly unclench and spread his fingers out over the table. The sleeve was hiked up slightly to show that most of the blood on his wrist had rubbed off and the broken skin was attempting to heal._ _

__Almost automatically, Kenren got up and went over to the kitchen, putting the kettle on to boil for some hot water while he grabbed the disinfectant, towels and some bandages. At least he had some answers now, even if they just raised more questions. A full name, Sakamoto Hideaki. He had heard it mentioned before, something about a suspicious fire that broke out centuries ago. Kenren had never worked under Marshal Hideaki before, even with his own tendencies of getting kicked out or transferred from unit to unit and army to army. The whistle from the boiling kettle jerked him out from his thoughts and he quickly got the supplies ready._ _

__He returned to see Tenpou seemingly asleep again with his head on the table, the mass of chocolate colored hair messily spread out over last week's J*mp, one hand stretched out in front of him next to the smoldering frog ashtray. He wasn't sleeping though. His breathing was different. Seems that months of letting his love sleep on his chest paid off, as much as figuring out Tenpou’s breathing patterns could count as paying off._ _

__Kenren gently picked up the outstretched hand and started wiping away the dried blood with a damp towel. As usual, Tenpou didn't make any sound of pain, but Kenren could see him tense up slightly as he went over a particularly nasty cut. He bandaged the wrist up as neatly as he could and quietly Tenpou offered his other hand._ _

__“Why are you so nice to me?” Came the whispered question. “You know you can't fuck me and you're still here. You've heard the nightmares I get. You can get anyone you want in your bed. Why are you still here? You know most of my past by now. And if Konzen is right, if you really bear the family name he said you did then why are you even bothering with a broken former child bride past his expiry date?”_ _

__If the previous speech was rehearsed, this was the opposite._ _

__A quiet wince but that could have just been the antiseptic kicking in. “Kenren, I'm not even supposed to be alive right now. Husband was going to kill me eventually and get another one. I was his fifth wife. He never cared for me.”_ _

__The whispering turned into sobs as he went on. “That's all i was to him, an expensive fuck doll he could treat however he wanted and dispose of afterwards. I tried to kill him but he survived. He survived and sometimes the nightmares i get are that he wakes up and finds me again and i go back to being that scared pathetic kid who has never seen the world beyond the written one. Pathetic.” He repeated, still not lifting his head from the table._ _

__Again, Kenren could hardly believe the differences in the two exchanges he just had. One so formal and dispassionate, and another from the verge of breaking down._ _

__Kenren looked down at him, wanting so much to stop everything and hold him tight but even he could see that he had to choose his next few words carefully. “Respectfully, I do not agree, sir.” Kenren said as he gently pushed at Tenpou’s shoulder to get him to sit up._ _

__That got the response he wanted, as the marshal sat up, looking confused as hell at the polite words coming from the legendarily rude soldier. “Explain yourself, general.” That came out without thinking as Tenpou used his newly bandaged wrists to wipe at his face._ _

__Kenren scooted nearer, fingers poised to peel away the collar to bandage up the bites before he _remembered_ and stopped. “Sir, you've been wounded around your neck area. Requesting permission to move your uniform top to treat it, sir.” Kenren’s eyes darted down to see Tenpou’s hand right in between their bodies, unconsciously preparing to shove him away. “Sir, you have given me permission previously to assist in treating your wounds. May i ask if the permission has been retracted?” Again, the marshal had gone tense before him, ready to lash out at anyone in his personal space. _ _

__The next step was usually Tenpou trying his best to bare the affected area without actually taking his clothes off while Kenren turned around or busied himself with the hot water._ _

__Kenren started to turn away before the next command rang out. “Previous permission was not retracted. You may assist me in removing my top, general.” Green eyes met his, something akin to trust in their expression._ _

__This was a first. It was well known that Tenpou hated being undressed in front of others. No one under his command had ever seen him without at least four articles of clothing on. It was the reason he suffered in the humidity with a long sleeved shirt, pants, belt, tie, and unnecessary form hiding lab coat on at all times. He wore a white tee shirt under their uniform, had a full body swimsuit instead of just trunks, turned up for physical training in a loose black tee and long track pants, the list goes on. Even with all their nighttime cuddling, Tenpou wears an old training tee and shorts, which he covered at all times with a blanket. It was rumored that the only person who have seen Tenpou in less than three articles of clothing was the infirmary doctor._ _

__“Yes sir.” Kenren replied gruffly, swallowing as he gently unbuttoned the top, pulling it open. He brushed back the hair covering his neck, and picked up the damp cloth again. Why was he so nervous suddenly? It wasn't the first time Kenren had ever seen anyone naked, very far from it, and being topless barely pinged as being naked as much as standards went. Tenpou’s jacket was still on him anyway… Kenren turned to dip the cloth back into the water. He turned back to see the jacket on the floor and a missing marshal. Where?_ _

__Scramble of footfalls followed by running water. The bathroom._ _

__That means that it is currently the last stage of the drug where it leaves the body. By the way it came in._ _

__Kenren ran to the bathroom to find Tenpou perched over the toilet bowl puking his guts out._ _

___Finally_ something he was equipped to handle, Kenren thought as he knelt next to his love. He pulled back Tenpou’s hair and rubbed his back. At least any doubts about what the drug was had been solidified. He could feel the small bottle of it in his pocket. That's another thing to deal with. The soft rustle of the letter in his other pocket reminded him of the other thing to take care of as well. It never rains but pours huh? _ _

__After an eternity, Tenpou sat up, wiping his mouth with a nearby towel. He looked over at Kenren and gave a wry smile. “The next time I see Li, I'm going to rip his arm off.”_ _

__“Why stop there?” Kenren continued, feeling a smile start to form as well. “Get the other side too. Just in case.” He looked down at his vomit covered love and then sighed. “I think you need to shower first though, Ten-chan. I see you didn't quite make it here on time.” Kenren got up, offering a hand to him. “I'll get more bandages from the infirmary while you shower.”_ _

__Tenpou accepted the hand and slowly got up. “Thank you.” He said, looking extraordinarily worn out again. “For everything. I don’t know how to make it up to you though.”_ _

__Kenren took a step closer and planted a kiss on the top of his head. “I’d say… double the reading session tonight?” He ruffled the chocolate hair. “Or... maybe we can go on a date sometime this week. Not a mission, not sitting here all cooped up. Somewhere nice, just the two of us. Dinner and drinks after.” He chuckled. “I’ve never seen you voluntarily leave this place other than work or to buy your weird manga or merch.”_ _

__Tenpou looked back at him, a puzzled look on his face for a moment before he nodded. “I’ve… I’ve never been on a date before.” He said. “But dinner and drinks after sounds simple enough. I can do that. Though…” He suddenly grinned. “I know the perfect town! There’s a huge Anim*te store there with a maid and butler cafe I’ve always wanted to go to!”_ _

__Kenren looked taken aback. “What’s a maid and butler caf- never mind. As long as there’s food, I’ll go along with it.” He brushed back the bangs from Tenpou’s face, staring down at him. “How did I even end up with such a fucking huge otaku?” He teased, wanting to see tiny pout version three. “Eh, you’re paying anyway, so I guess there’s not much spending left for Anim*te afterwards.”_ _

__There it was, in all its adorkable glory. Tenpou even had his arms crossed while he did so. “Hmnph. Fine.”_ _

__It was worth it._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Hey, I _did_ say this fic is a mixture of depressing and fluff at the beginning right? -
> 
> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
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	15. Ant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenren goes to work and encounters one of his ants talking to a dragon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Yes I know that the Ants have official names and personalities but my fic, my headcanon, blah blah)

Kenren left for the day's training session with their unit after making sure that his marshal was cleaned up and eating the food Konzen brought over. Konzen stayed to watch over him for a while longer, all the while giving Kenren disapproving glares until he left. 

He idly strolled over to the barracks, lazily acknowledging all the salutes and greetings from the lower ranking while pulling off the bare minimum for the higher ranked he passed by. A flash of white caught his eye and he looked over to see none other than his dragon commander talking to one of the men from his unit. 

That's rare. Why would uptight fuck be even talking to one of Kenren's men in the first place? It doesn't seem like the usual reprimand or dressing down he gave to them either. Kenren looked over at the other party, recognising him as Corporal Mihara Hikaru, one of those who actively makes things difficult for him. Apparently Hikaru enlisted at the same time as Tenpou and for some reason was blindly loyal to him. They look similar too, but Hikaru had long, an almost silver coloured blond hair that he kept in a braid, and also doesn't wear glasses. Tenpou was prettier though, and much freer on the rulebook keeping that he was. 

So what are they even talking about? Whatever it was, it seemed to be important. Secretive enough for Hikaru to keep looking around as they spoke but not enough to talk somewhere private. 

“So, what new restrictive rule are we adding to the ever growing book, huh?” Kenren walked over, throwing a half assed salute to Goujun. “Should have talked to me first so I know exactly how long i have left to do exactly what you're going to ban.” He grinned at the dragon as he leaned up on Hikaru forgetting one more important thing about his subordinate. 

“Don't fucking touch-” 

Oh yes. Another similarity between both beauties. Their huge personal space bubble and how fast, and aggressively, they will shove anyone out of it. 

He managed to step aside just in time as Goujun gave him yet another disapproving glare, somehow not the first, second, or third person to give him one for the day, and it was barely noon. 

“This does not concern you, general. Please return to your duties.” 

This dragon guy has always irked him. Maybe it was the cold red eyes that followed his every move, or the creepy talons for nails, or that he always was on his case for the tiniest things. 

“Well, you’re taking to one of _my_ men, from _my_ unit, which _I_ am the direct superior to.” Kenren took an exaggerated look around, gesturing to their surroundings. “And we’re all standing in an _army_ compound, and I was on the way to-” 

“Enough.” Again with the cold dead stare. “This is a private matter th-” 

“Oh?” Kenren took a step towards his commander, knowing in the back of his mind that he would probably spend a few days in the detention chamber for all this. “What private matter is it, then? You two screwing in secret or somethi-” 

Kenren hardly registered the silver haired kami coming up behind him before he was suddenly on the ground. 

“Don’t you dare talk to Goujun-sama like that!” Hikaru had him prone in a arm lock “You don’t know what he’s done to help all of us! All of us who were sold and forced to-” 

“Corporal Yoshino Hikari, release him.” 

Kenren looked up at him, an eyebrow raised. That’s not his subordinate’s name. It's close enough but not quite, did the dragon go senile while they weren’t looking? But either way, the corporal let go of him and Kenren got up, dusting himself off as he did so. 

“You forgot yet again, Goujun-sama. I am Mihara Hikaru now. Hikari disappeared, remember? And he wasn’t a corporal, he was just an unranked private assistant.” 

There it was again. That dispassionate, unnaturally casual recounting of what happened to another person. 

\---

 ** _”Sakamoto Yuuki is dead.”_ **

\---

“Ah yes, thank you for reminding me, Corporal Hikaru. We shall continue discussing this matter at a later time.”

Kenren watched as Goujun strode off, automatically following suit when Hikaru saluted. 

“You’re late for training. That’s the fourth time this week, _general_. I will see you in the training hall. Good day, _sir_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
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>  If you don't want a reply for any reason, please feel free to sign your comment with "whisper" and I will appreciate but not reply. I do understand that this fic is quite uhh not very PG-ish (at the very least) so I will get it if you feel a bit awkward to get a reply (esp if you are on anon)


	16. Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenren's still got it, ya know?  
> No news is good news, however, no news means this story ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I'm getting slightly discouraged by the lack of comments. I wonder if the majority of hits are people who clicked in and immediately clicked out.  
> I'm sure there's at least 2? people who still keep reading. Mind dropping me an anon comment so I don't feel like I'm posting this into the void?

“That’s all, guys! Next bbq is on me, alright? Dismissed!” Kenren waved the men off and started walking away, stretching as he did so. The sun had set, and it was getting quite dark. Luckily, some new recruits had already been tasked with lighting the lanterns around the training halls and barracks. Some newer buildings had their electric lights turned on as well, casting a steady glow in contrast to the flickering of firelight. 

Normally, he would be starting to head to the various live music bars or perhaps a strip club or two, but he found himself walking the path back to his superior’s office/apartment. It wasn’t even intentional, but soon he was opening Tenpou’s front door. That man never locked his doors. Kenren never thought much about it in the past but now couldn’t help but realise that if he counted, Tenpou had quite a number of escape routes even if his front door was blocked. The realisation unnerved him in a way. 

He flicked the light on. “I got you a cold one from the vending machine out front.” Kenren called out, beginning his visual sweep of the untidy office. It wasn’t that long ago that he had cleaned it… The lamp on his desk was turned on, with neatly done paperwork in the out tray. The couch had the next volume of the story both of them enjoyed, already turned to the relevant page. The bedroom was empty, as per usual. Tenpou preferred to sleep on the floor or anywhere other than the bed. That thought joined the other in the pile of things that will slowly get more horrifying the more Kenren thought about it. No one in the bathroom either. 

Where could he have gone to? Perhaps Konzen’s place? He barely knew the man, but for some reason that blond seems like the type to kick everyone out by 6pm sharp, citing work the next day. 

“Tenpou?” He called out again, not liking where his train of thought led. There were no signs of a struggle, nothing seemed to be taken from the rooms, not that he would notice on first sight. “I’m going to drink your tea if you don’t appear soon!” 

He heard a cough from the front door. It was Corporal Hikaru, looking utterly displeased yet again. “Yu-, Marshal Tenpou is having a meeting with our Commander Goujun, sir. He wanted me to inform you of the fact as he does not want you to worry.” Gray eyes met his. “Sir.” Hikaru added, giving him a salute before turning on his heel and brisk walking away. 

“What? Hey! Wait!” Kenren chased after him, managing to grab him by the arm before remembering, yet too late again, and finding himself on the floor. He looked up at Hikaru, who gave him another disgusted look before starting to walk away. “What’s your problem with me, man?!” He shouted, getting up slowly. “Look, I get you’ve probably went through the same thing as Tenpou did, but that doesn’t give you the right to fucking throw me to the floor every single time I accidentally touch you! And how did you even get through fucking basic training if you keep on smacking everyone to the ground? I’m sure whoever trained you would have gone bonkers or something!” 

A nod. “Yes, he did.” There was the barest hint of a smirk there. “He deserved it. And so do you.” The smirk grew wider. “Sir.” 

“That doesn’t fucking answer anything!” Kenren went over to Hikaru, but kept a safe distance, watching his hands warily. “Look. Tenpou trusts me, okay? I don’t need _you_ to trust me, but I need you to know that Tenpou does. I will never hurt him. Never. And if I ever do, you’re welcome to join him in beating me into a bloody pulp.” He let out a short sigh. “I don’t know much about what Tenpou’s past, let alone yours, so gimme a break, alright?” 

“Of course you don’t.” Came the reply. “You have the mark of one of those who can afford to do whatever he wants. What would you ever have known?” Gray eyes locked with his. “I do not trust your word as far as I can throw you. Tenpou likes your company for some reason. He’s still quite trusting, even after all that’s happened. He was only sold once after all. I owe him my life, I do not owe you anything.” Hikaru’s lip curled up in a sneer. “I have relayed the information the Marshal informed me to, and will be heading back to the meeting. It is no concern of mine what you do from now on. Goodbye.”

Fucking asshole. 

Kenren just glared at him until he was out of sight. Well, a meeting with Commander Dragon? This late? It had to be important then. But not important enough for a general? But that fucking corporal attended? 

The more questions he asked, the more they multiplied. 

With an angry grunt, he shut the door and flopped down on the couch. Maybe it wasn't too late to go out to the bar. It's been a while since he was there and he should probably pay off a tab or two while he had spare cash lying around. Maybe play a game or four while at it. Kenren leaned his head back, letting out a sigh of frustration. Who knows when Tenpou will be back anyway? Could be in a few minutes, or hours, or whatever. 

He got up and lit up a cigarette. Time to check out his usual haunts then.

******

Kenren woke up when the sun hit his eyes. 

Ugh, time to invest in proper curtains for his tiny apartment. Wait. He never bought curtains because he never needed them. The sunlight doesn't hit his bed till early afternoon. He couldn't have slept that long… 

Kenren sat up, slowly realizing that he was not in his apartment. Nor Tenpou’s. He looked over beside him to find a mass of long brown hair, and decidedly feminine curves under the blanket. Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit! 

He started to move away, dislodging an arm that turned out to be attached to yet another sleeping brown haired woman. 

Two of them?! In any other past instance he would have been insanely happy but all he could think about was Tenpou, probably asleep behind his desk as normal for the man. Kenren carefully maneuvered himself off the bed, and started picking up his clothes from the floor. Hmn. Funny, there seemed to be an extra army uniform, albeit in the regular blue instead of his units’ black. 

“Hey sir.” Kenren looked up to find a man holding a pot of coffee. Said man was naked and very comfortable with that. “Last night was amazing, if i must say so myself.” He said and bit his lip, ogling the flustered general. “How do you like your coffee?” 

“Pants.” Kenren replied, ignoring the question. 

“Probably by the front door.” Unknown man said, miffed at his non answer. “You wasted no time getting them off. Pardon my rudeness yesterday but i could only make out your rank in the light of day.” He followed Kenren on his way to the other room. “Though you seemed to like topping your perceived superiors very much, if i may say so, sir.” 

That got him to pause for a bit before he finished collecting his effects. “I'm heading off.” Kenren said brusquely.

“That uniform is the Western Army, First Unit, isn't it?” Unknown man is starting to get on his nerves by now. “Must suck being under that stuck up bitch's command. He's so damn pretty but won't let anyone in his bed. Heh. Maybe that's where that kink comes from huh?” He ran a hand through his tousled brown hair, smirking at Kenren while he did so.

That was it. Kenren glared at him. “Maybe my kink is keeping your mouth occupied so you'll shut up for once.” He quickly regretted that as unknown man bit his lip again and pointedly trailed his eyes downwards to his crotch. He felt himself getting aroused again but quickly tried to quell it.

“I don't mind being _quiet_ if y-”

Time to go!

Kenren spun around as fast as he could and ran out the door. Once he was safely out of range, did he stop and catch his breath. 

Damn. Three in one night? ...nice.

Ok. Back to Tenpou. Need to make sure he's alright. Who knows what time he got back from the meeting anyway.

As usual, Tenpou’s door was unlocked and he gently opened it. This time the marshal was easier to find. He had taken a pillow and blanket from the bed and was sleeping right next to the front door. The sound of the door opening woke him and he sat up, rubbing at his eyes. They were red. Kenren looked at the pillow, seeing it damp where he laid down. Must have been another nightmare, and a really bad one at that.

Tenpou had changed out of his usual attire into his sleeping tee and boxers which was strange because Kenren had to all but actually purchase the concept of clothes that you slept in to him. There was a remarkably heavy duty torchlight next to him along with the book from the couch, as well as yesterday's unopened vending machine tea. This doesn't look like his modus operandi of fall asleep wherever he happened to be reading. This looked like fell asleep while… waiting for someone to get home and then cuddle.

“Kenren?” Even his voice was cracked from crying. “I… He…” Tenpou swallowed, trying to find the words. He hadn’t seen his Ten-kuma this upset in a long while. Must have been a _really_ bad nightmare then.

The general knelt down, carefully bringing his lover into a hug. “Hey… I'm sorry i wasn't here last night. I… had a lot to drink.” Technically the truth after all. He also did quite a lot more than drink, but he doesn’t need to know that. Kenren stroked his hair, feeling Tenpou shake his head. 

“He… woke up.” Tenpou whispered. His trembling was the worst it had ever been today and he was somehow still crying. 

“Who?” Kenren asked, fearing the worst.

It took a few minutes before Tenpou confirmed them. “Hus… husband.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...nice
> 
> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
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> **Feedback**
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> **Whisper**  
>  If you don't want a reply for any reason, please feel free to sign your comment with "whisper" and I will appreciate but not reply. I do understand that this fic is quite uhh not very PG-ish (at the very least) so I will get it if you feel a bit awkward to get a reply (esp if you are on anon)


	17. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actions have consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My computer checked itself out of life so I took it apart and cleaned the heck out of it. Then I discovered that the thermal paste is practically gone and I need to order more in and the whole reason I wrote this is to tell you that I'm posting the next few chapters from my phone. Good luck to all of us.

It took a while before Kenren let out his breath. “But you said it yourself, Yuuki is dead. You're not married to that bastard, and while I never met Yuuki, I know that my Ten-chan is way stronger than him. My Ten-chan is a Marshal, a really good one too. He outranks that fucker. If you give him his stupidly oversized katana, Ten-chan can slice that fucker to pieces before that fucker even takes a step in here. My Ten-chan can probably do that even with that torchlight over there. I don't know how but he can. So, stop crying okay?” He rubbed his back and pulled away from the hug. 

Tempo smiled back at him, slowly calming down. “Thank you. I needed that.” He admitted quietly. “It's hard to let go of Yuuki sometimes. Every time I think I’ve got a handle on it, I get a nightmare or something happens to remind me of the past and it comes back.” 

Kenren gave him a grin. “Well, that’s what I’m here for, isn’t it?” He said as he stood up and held his hand out. “I don’t know how your spine isn’t a mess with how often you sleep on the floor like this, Ten-chan. Maybe we can find you a nice futon or something if you insist on it.” He pulled Tenpou up and brushed back his hair to kiss him on the forehead before turning and walking further into the office. He kept on thinking about what happened the past night, feeling something strange he had never felt before. 

“I don’t mind sleeping on the bed if you’re with me. I don’t like to sleep there otherwise.” Came the quiet reply and Tenpou came up behind him and snaked his arms around his general. “Where did you go last night anyway? I was getting a bit worried. Hikaru said he found you here when he went to pass the message. The meeting ended shortly after he came back, and when I got here, you weren’t.” Tenpou pressed his face against Kenren’s back, holding him close. 

Guilt. That was what he was feeling. “I just went over to some bars to pay off tabs I owe.” Kenren replied, feeling his heart beat slightly faster. “Then some of the guys wanted a rematch in poker, and others wanted to play pool, and the time went by so fast I didn’t realise what happened.” The arms around him tightened slightly, and Kenren could feel Tenpou just breathe out against his back. 

“I see.” Tenpou replied, “Was that’s all?” He stayed behind Kenren, squeezing him again before letting go. 

Kenren had been in battle countless times. He had fought his way past jealous partners of those he bedded without a care. He had stared down dangerous monsters on the lower earth. He had come face to face with deranged fathers of daughters he took and not married. But this... This quiet not-interrogation with Tenpou standing behind him, holding him close in a way he rarely did while asking him simple questions with the barest of reactions. This was the most terrified he had ever been in his entire life. “Y..yes. That was all.” He couldn’t help the sudden stutter, but for some reason this relationship with someone he had not bedded even once was one that he utterly never wanted to ever lose. And admitting what he did last night was a sure fire way of throwing it to the dogs.

“Okay then.” Tenpou moved away from him, heading into the kitchen. “I’m going to make a quick breakfast before heading out to see the men today.” 

He stared at him, or accurately, his back, in the gray training tee that spelled ARMY across the width of it. Tenpou’s hair had grown longer, he could probably braid it by now if he wanted to. Was it just him, or was Tenpou deliberately leaving so much space between them? Kenren crossed over to the kitchenette, a lump in his throat rising as Tenpou swiftly moved away to the bedroom, stirring his mug as he went. Kenren walked over as well, seeing him at his regular closet, pulling out his uniform. The mug was left on the dresser, precariously perched on the corner of a few books balancing on more of their brethren. He took the few steps to the closet and Tenpou brushed past him, already pulling on the jacket over his tee. 

“Hey…” Kenren called out, as Tenpou busied himself with searching for something in his desk drawers. He couldn’t quite make out the expression on his face but there was something unspoken in the air between them. “Uh… are we still on for later? I can grab dinner for us so we can eat after you’re back. Maybe the black pepper chicken you like?” 

“Sure.” Came the suddenly curt reply. Tenpou found what he was looking for, his gun and holster, and strapped it on. He took off his glasses and polished them with the hem of his jacket, all the while not looking up at him.

That’s new. Tenpou rarely brought his gun along just for training with the men, unless it was specifically to train with it or for mock missions. Kenren moved closer and Tenpou brushed past him again. 

“See you later.” That was all he said before leaving. 

Kenren sat back on the desk, smacking the neatly done out tray to the floor as paperwork scattered everywhere.

“Fuck!” 

He stared over at the kitchenette, seeing another freshly made mug of coffee sitting by a hastily assembled peanut butter sandwich. An opened packet of sugar was next to the coffee, along with two creamers. Tenpou wasn’t making his own breakfast. This was breakfast for _Kenren_. 

The full implications of what just happened hit him hard right then. How could he even be fit to say all the words, all the promises to protect and love, and keep safe? Where was he when his lover received the worst news he never wanted to hear? Where was he to calm his Ten-kuma-kun down and help to figure what to do next? All he could remember of the night before was strolling into the bar like he owned the place, and everyone cheering him on as he won round after round, and sunk shot after shot. Kenren didn’t lie, he _did_ forget the passage of time. It was just so… fun. Going back into his old habits with everyone flirting with him. It was a rush after all, a huge sorely missed boost to his ego, and he had always been bad at turning down excuses to party. 

It still doesn’t excuse what he did though.

Kenren had never been in a serious relationship. Of course, sometimes the other party thought that they were exclusive, but that was always one sided. Staying with one person was boring. The sex got repetitive, the topics of discussion started getting stale, and there’s always another prettier distraction around. He had brushed it off, all the angry crying, all the jealous fits of rage, all the attempts to smear his reputation but you can’t really be hurt if you don’t care. Right? 

None of them ever made him breakfast after a fight though. Along with a mug of coffee prepared exactly how he liked it. There was no angry crying this time. No fits of rage where he let himself be slapped over and over again. No threats to expose his dark secrets to the world. 

But why did it hurt even more than if Tenpou did all of those?

_I don’t fucking deserve you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I left the txt file with the LLF spiel on my dead desktop so pretend it's here.
> 
> I greatly appreciate all comments and kudos. Thank you for staying with me on this wild ride. I wrote a shitton of chapters in the past few days so barring huge formatting fuckups, posting should go back to semi regular.


	18. Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenren fucked up.  
> He decides to see Hideaki in the infirmary for himself.  
> Hot Nurse Number Four is there. Can Kenren remember her name?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rigged up my tablet with a bluetooh keyboard and mouse, but the shortcuts are so different lol.

The infirmary was insanely crowded. Most of the time they were soldiers from the various branches of the army grabbing supplies and then heading back to treat themselves or each other. Kami generally healed quickly, provided no nasty infections or bones broken too much to be set by themselves. It was rare to stay more than a night or two, but exceptions happen. 

The nurse on duty recognised him when he walked over to her station, her face contorting into a familiar mask of contempt. “Oh, back to break more hearts, general?” She asked, folding her arms. “I told you to send someone else if your unit needs to restock.”

See now. This display of anger and jealousy barely pinged on his radar as something to even care about. 

“No.” Kenren replied, for some reason not wanting to pull out his usual charm. “I’m here to visit.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a scrap of paper he had written the details on, so not to forget. 

She rolled her eyes. “Anyone you’d bother looking for isn’t in the long term ward. Now get lost.” 

“Marshal Sakamoto Hideaki, room 8, bed 6.” 

Was it him or did her eyes widen at that name? She suddenly looked away, exaggeratedly fishing under her table for a clipboard, almost as though to compose herself. “Why are you visiting him?” She asked, bending over to look for said clipboard. “He’s never had visitors. Not at all since he came in.” She found the clipboard and straightened up. “He’s… not a very popular person.”

Kenren leaned over the table, trying to get a look at the papers on the board. “Well, someone I know has a close connection to him.”

“Yuu-chan?” She held the board close to her, trying to cover up what she just said. “I mean. Who would even still be a connection to that man? Only his family, people on his registered list of visitors, or his direct superior are allowed to see him, and the current Dragon Commander has already been informed of his condition. He has no living family and he has never bothered to update the registered list, so I’m afraid you can’t.”

Well.. There goes that idea. But what she said at first caught his attention. There can’t be that many people called Yuu-chan who would know people in the long term ward, right? Can’t hurt to try all options now that he came this far.

“He’s doing a lot better now.” Kenren said, watching her face. “Yuu-chan, I mean.” She immediately smiled, then quickly tried to her composure back. “He doesn’t get the nightmares if I cuddle with him to sleep. Heck, he even came on to _me_ , though it was ridiculously naive in a strangely cute way. I thought he was a virgin at first, because he hated when the guys brought up sex and always changed the topic. But I have never slept with him. Not in that way. I love him too much. I won’t hurt him like Hideaki did. I won’t let anyone hurt him anymore.” She was crying now, silent tears that ran down her face. “So, I know we had our _past_ together, but both of us only want the best for him right now. Could you would do me this one favour. Please? Suzu-chan?” He had to take a leap of faith on that last one. Honestly he couldn’t remember her name if he tried, she was ‘Hot Nurse Number Four’ in all his conquest stories. 

She seemed to realise that she was crying and quickly looked away to wipe her face. “Why would Yuu-chan choose someone like you?” She said, almost to herself. “But you did get my name right, and I know how hard it is for you to remember details like that when you move on to the next one. Maybe Yuu-chan changed you in some way.” She let out a sigh and nodded. “I’ll let you see that horrible man. He’s barely 24 hours awake and already I want to knock him back out again.” 

She stepped out from her station and started the long walk with him to the long term ward. “It’s surprising that you haven’t slept with him. You’ve always been forward in that aspect and I know that he’s your type to go after. Looks-wise, I mean.”

Huh. Now that Kenren properly looked at her, Suzu also had long dark brown hair, albeit neatly brushed and in two braids. Guess that random army guy from yesterday did have a point. 

“Life’s full of surprises.” He replied, feeling guilt start to overwhelm him again. “You know I only take what’s freely given anyway. It's no fun if only one person wants it.” Tenpou should be doing fine right now. The men loved him, and would do anything for him. Kenren had always found that odd. There’s loyalty, and then there’s the special bond that the Ants had. 

He remembered when he first started spending the night with Tenpou and how they would drop by at random points just to make sure that their beloved marshal was alright. It was always at least two of them as well, and sometimes they would bring coffee, or tea, or a take away container of food from whatever stall was still operating. _“Is the general bothering you, sir?”_ He could hear all the possible variants of that question in his head by now. It used to annoy him to no end at first. In what world would you ask someone if the person they’re cuddling on is bothering them? Again, some questions really have depressing answers when it comes to his Marshal.

As he spent more nights over, the visits would dwindle down to opening the door a crack to glare him down before Tenpou sleepily dismissed them. And after even more time went by, the visits stopped completely. The last few times, he swore that the check was to make sure that he _was_ there with Tenpou. How would they react if they found out what Kenren did last night then? Hikaru would probably just shoot him in the head the moment Kenren stepped into the compounds. He was the best sniper in the unit, if not the Western Army. No one would even see it coming and furthermore yesterday Kenren did give Hikaru permission to beat him into a pulp if he hurt Tenpou, and he definitely hurt him. Just not physically. Does that still count?

He gulped and stuck his hands in his pockets, looking up ahead. “So… what’s Hideaki like now that he’s not asleep?” Best to prepare himself after all. “Does he remember anything about before he was in the coma? Or anyone?” 

Suzu gave him a sideways glance. “How much did Yuu-chan tell you?” 

Kenren shrugged, pretending he didn't notice the look. “Well, I know Yuu-chan was married by force to this guy and he didn't treat him right. And there was something about a fire where Yuu-chan died and Hideaki survived somehow, but that's all.” 

She nodded, “Do you know how the white dragon got involved?” 

That was something he didn't know, but judging by Hikaru’s reaction, it was probably something major. He shook his head. “Nope. But one of the guys in my unit is practically in love with him.”

She smiled again and shook her head. “I don't think Hika-chan would ever admit that though. Did he shoot you for bringing it up? That's what happened to the last guy who asked him about it.” She paused for a moment. “He shot their previous general too, not for asking about it though but for trying to take advantage of Yuu-chan right in his own office. General Creepo locked the door and they couldn't get in so Hikari-chan smashed the window and got him square on the back of his head. He’s always been quite trigger happy, especially since he learned how to properly fire a gun. Not that Yuu-chan needed the help though, that torchlight of his should be classified as a deadly weapon.” She chuckled at that memory and let out a wistful sigh. “They were inseparable. Always looked out for each other ever since they met here, both being treated for the damage they sustained during _battle,_ except that special aides were never deployed to the battlefield.” 

You learn something new everyday, huh. 

They stopped in front of a closed door. “Well, I hope you get whatever answers you want out of this monster. Don't say I didn't warn you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, LLF thing on pc, blah blah.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I appreciate all comments and kudos and whatever else.


	19. Property

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakamoto Hideaki is awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all 2-3 of you still here.  
> My PC is back up and running.  
> I will try and post my backlog before things get busy IRL again.
> 
> Thank you all for reading and mind dropping a comment or kudos while you're here?

Of the six beds in the room, only three were occupied. Two of the occupants were sound asleep, leaving the one in the corner that had someone sitting up. The late afternoon sun shone bright enough, but for some reason it felt slightly cold. 

“Sakamoto, someone is here to see you.” Suzu called out, a tremor of something in her voice. Kenren took a step forward, noting that Suzu stayed where she was, at the door. 

The figure turned to look at him and Kenren hesitated for a bit. The kami was huge. Even when sitting up, he could tell that Hideaki would tower over him. The fire had left its mark on him, though being kami, they had healed quickly enough to fade over the centuries. After being awake, he could probably get his older form back soon enough. Hideaki broke into a smile, showing disconcertingly white teeth. “Who are you?” He asked, in a voice that sounded like a rumbling earthquake. “Where is my wife? He should be here with me.” 

“Yuuki-chan died.” Suzu replied curtly. “I told you when you woke up. Your direct supervisor has been informed as well.” 

“Shut it woman.” Hideaki said, not even looking at her. “I know that mousey wife of mine. He’s surprisingly tough for something so pretty.” He looked over at Kenren, who was standing at the foot of the bed. “What uniform is that? I don’t recognise the unit, but I know a general’s patch when I see one.” 

For some reason, Kenren didn’t know what to say. All he could do was stare at the man who made his lover’s life hell for who knows how long. All he could think about was that this person is the reason for everything wrong with Tenpou. The nightmares, the breakdowns, all the strange little things Tenpou did with horrifying explanations… All of them was because of this person sitting in a hospital bed in front of him. 

It would be so easy, to just go up and snap his neck or hold a pillow down over that punchable face. Kenren noticed the restraint around his right wrist, binding him to the bed side guard. He could do it. Just a few minutes and then Tenpou would be free at last. 

“General, I asked you a question!” 

He snapped out of it, answering automatically. “General Kamiki Kenren.” Fuck, that was his old name! Why did he even say that? He hadn’t even used it in centuries! “From the Western Army, First Unit, sir.” Kenren continued, hoping to that if he kept talking, Hideaki won’t focus on the slip. “Um, my commander asked me to check on you. How are you feeling?” As he spoke, he tried to quell the murderous anger rising in him. He quickly saluted, keeping his eyes up. 

“Is the commander still that green dragon bastard?” Hideaki asked, watching him carefully. “Last I heard Goushou was retiring.” 

This at least was a question he could answer neutrally. “No sir. Our current commander is Dragon King of the Western Seas, Lord Goujun. He’s took over his grandfather’s position when I started, sir.” 

“Hmph.” Hideaki snorted. “That’s what you get when you put mortal beings in positions of power around here. They live longer than those below, but still, all you get is what, five millenia out of them?” He continued examining Kenren, his eyes narrowing. 

“Kamiki huh? I knew your father. Is that old fart Kenta still around?”

Kenren had to work hard to suppress that shiver of disgust he always had whenever anyone brought up his family. “No idea, I haven’t been home in a while. He didn’t approve of me joining the army. How did you know him, sir?” 

Blue eyes met his, then Hideaki smirked. “We were rivals, in a sense. Fought over an auction for a property we both wanted. Unfortunately for him, I won. He’s hated me ever since.” He snorted again. “It could have been _yours_ actually, if he had prevailed. Do you know what property I’m talking about, boy?” 

Again, that stab of white hot rage right in the heart. “No sir, I don’t think so.” Kenren pretended to think for a moment, all the while staring right at Hideaki as he fought to keep his face expressionless. “Was it that cottage by the lake just south of here? He taught all of us how to fish and perhaps he wanted me to stay somewhere he could come visit, and probably fish. I didn’t know that was yours, sir.” That was an outright lie. Kenren taught himself to fish. As if Lord Kamiki fucking Kenta would ever stoop so low to participate in a “poor man’s hobby”. 

Hideaki smiled again, a slow cruel thing. “It was a different property, boy. But that’s in the past.” He glared behind him to Suzu. “And when is the bitch going to let me out of this?” He pulled at the restraint, causing the side guard to clang against the bed. “I’m awake and no longer a danger to myself. I know the rules. You have to let me go. I need to find that mouse wife of mine and make sure he remembers his place.” 

“Yuuki-chan is dead!” Suzu shouted from the doorway. “I keep on telling you that over and over again. He’s dead, and you were the one who killed him! That’s why I can’t let you go, you need to stand trial!” 

A laugh. “You should know by now, Nurse Bitch. I will get off with only a slap on the wrist and then it's time to find a new wife. You always get so attached to them. I don’t know why.” 

“Because they were children!” She marched over, shaking with rage. “Or barely able to make their own decisions because they were scared, sheltered boys who do not deserve to have their lives ended at your hands!” She went over and slapped him, hard, judging by the sound it made, but Hideaki didn’t react, looking almost bored. “Look here, I’ve watched so many of them come in, all scared, terrified, but somehow trusting of you, and you… _break_ them just for your sick enjoyment! The worst thing is, you are _never_ here when they go. Some of them even _loved_ you, up till the end. I don’t know what kind of twisted mind game you play with them, but some of them loved you so much that they try to escape being treated for the beatings you give them, and for what? So that they could be back in time to make you breakfast, and fold your clothes, and you know what? Frick this!” She slammed the guard rail and then turned around. “You should have died in that fire. It would have made the world a better place. It would have been an quicker death than the ones you gave your wives.” Suzu let out a short breath, then walked away. “Kenren, we are leaving. You’re not allowed to be here without a medical staff present and I am not fit to be in the same room as this… monster. I’ll let you know when the next shift is here and he or she will bring you over because I won’t.” 

Hideaki just smirked, then looked over at Kenren. “Women are so hysterical.” He said with a shrug. “But yes, unless you can get me out of this.” He rattled the restraint again. “I have no further interest in talking to you. Maybe next time you can bring a suitable _friend_. Brown hair, green eyes… A very pretty face... I get lonely here.” He goaded. “And one hand’s not quite the same, am I right?” He held up his left hand, waving it in the air.

It would be so easy. Suzu was waiting for him by the door, her back turned to the room. Hideaki’s right arm was restrained, so there would be less resistance and, well, Suzu did say she wished that Hideaki had died. It would just be finishing the job the fire started, wouldn’t it? Kenren took a step closer, leaning in slightly before Suzu called out for him again.

“Kenren! Let’s go!” 

He looked over at the door, seeing that Suzu had walked off while waiting for him. In a flash, he knew what he had to do but before he could turn back, he felt himself being pulled down to the bed and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. Kenren scrabbled ineffectively at the arm pulled tight around his neck, cutting off most of his air supply. He could see Hideaki stare down at him, an evil smirk on his face. 

“I know you have my mouse wife, Kamiki.” He whispered down at him. “It was probably a plan by your sneaky father to get him back as it is to send you here to kill me. Shh. Don’t struggle.” Hideaki growled, staring murderously right at him. “Promise to give my back my little mousey and I won’t snap your neck right here.”

Fuck! The man had a grip of iron even after all the centuries being asleep. He could barely get an inch of give. “I don’t know who your mouse wife is.” Kenren choked out. “I’m only here because Commander Goujun to-” 

“You have him.” Hideaki replied, squeezing even tighter. “You think I don’t recognise the look before someone tries to kill me? You’re so easy to read, dear boy.” 

Kenren tried his hardest to pull his arm away from his neck, cursing that he had just cut his nails short recently because he couldn’t get any purchase on him. He kicked at the guard rail, sending a loud clanging sound echoing through the room. “I will never let you have him.” He growled. “I promised him as long as I’m with him, I’ll keep him safe from you!” He was starting to feel faint now. He kicked at it again. Where the fuck is Suzu when you needed her!? 

“Then I guess there’s no need to keep you aliv-” Kenren felt the grip on his neck tighten and he kicked at the metal guard again before he felt the grip slacken. He quickly pulled away, coughing hard as he did so. Hideaki was glaring at him, no, the person behind him as he tried to pull the barbed red dart out from his shoulder. “Hysterical... bitch!” He slumped over, and Kenren could turned to see Suzu holding one of the army’s tranquil guns. 

“I did tell you a medical officer needs to be here at all times.” She panted. “I could have injected him, but I didn’t want to get too close either. Good thing this is the army infirmary, huh?” Suzu pointed the gun down, then looked at it. “What setting is this even on?” 

Kenren got up, rubbing his neck as he took the gun from her and looked at the settings. “Oh.. that’s for grade A warm blooded monsters. The ones approximately five times the size of a man.” He coughed again, still feeling the pressure against his neck for some reason. “That would put a regular person out cold for at least a week and a half. This is the dart bullet type. Pity it's not a regular round.” 

Suzu nodded, then went to the supply closet. “Kenren help me with this.” She said, holding up another pair of restraints. “Turns out he can still do damage with his right arm down. Hopefully having both down would help manage him easier. I’ll put the other guard rail up and lock both of them. You cuff him.” 

Both of them warily approached the bed, relaxing once they confirmed Hideaki was indeed unconscious. Getting his left arm secured to the guard rail was easy enough and Kenren took a bit of satisfaction in cuffing it to the bar at the very end, ensuring little room for movement. 

“Oh dear.” Suzu said, wiping her brow as they started walking back to the main wing. “You.. you look like how Yuu-chan and all the rest did when they’re here.” She sighed. “I’ll fix you up before you go, okay?” 

He just nodded, again feeling the phantom pressure on his neck not lifting. It was almost inhuman. No one should have that much raw strength. He couldn’t move at all. It was terrifying. Kenren is a trained general with centuries of battle conditioning and all he could do was kick at the side of the bed to attract attention. He lost against a man who just woke up from a coma. How fucking strong was Hideaki before?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
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	20. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenpou's an adult with a job and friends like anyone else, isn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of these people might appear in later chapters. Some might not.  
> Don't ask if their names mean anything, okay? I just picked them out from a shady website with way too many pop up ads. (Thank you adblock for killing most of them.)
> 
> Also, I've found my perfect playlist to write this fic out to -> the entirety of A Perfect Circle's discography. Its the right amount of angst and fast paced tempo to help with describing horrifying things.

By the time Kenren left the infirmary, the sun was already starting to set. Much like how it was yesterday with all the people running to light lanterns or simply flick a switch on before it truly got dark. Except that tonight would be different. Last night was not allowed to happen ever again. 

His right eye smarted something fierce. Apparently he had banged it against something in the scuffle and Suzu had given him a cream to put on it as well as on his neck which was starting to bruise badly. 

He managed to get the black pepper chicken Tenpou liked from the food stall though. That's one promise he could keep at least. 

As usual, the door was unlocked and Kenren came in to find a number of their unit lounging around the office apartment. 

“Hey guys?” Kenren looked around, counting four just in the office space. “Didn't know that you're all coming over, or else I would have gotten more food.” What are they doing here? And if they’re here, hopefully Mr Smack People Down isn’t- nope. 

“Don't push it, general.” Guess the day is only going to get worse. He spun around to see Hikaru sitting against the desk, watching the front door as he quietly cleaned his sniper rifle. That was his personal one. The army doesn't give out guns with such a pastel blue and pink color palette. The guns in front of him were army issued gunmetal gray though, all lovingly cleaned and polished. 

For the third time in that day, Kenren felt true fear again as Suzu's warning about Hikaru being trigger happy echoed in his head. “I was just making a joke, come on.” Hikaru didn't reply, focusing on his task. “Where is Tenpou?” 

That got their attention though. “He's taking a bath right now. You can wait for him out here with us.” said another, glaring at Kenren from his upside down position on the couch. Sergeant Tanaka Gorou, yet another pretty face with a horrible attitude towards him. Come to think of it, there was a surprising amount of lookers in the first unit. It didn’t take him long to draw the common link between them all with the new information he recently acquired since he first joined. “Though Hika-chan should just shoot you right now if we had our way.” Gorou suddenly squinted at him, then tumbled off the couch, coming over to Kenren. “General?” He reached out and moved Kenren’s collar out of the way, recognition quickly dawning on his face.

“Hey, I know I’m gorgeous and all, but ease up okay?” Kenren moved away, clutching his collar closed as he buttoned up his jacket, something he rarely did, even in the heat of battle. “Have you guys eaten? We can probably still get the last of the chicken if we hurry out.” The silence was suddenly deafening, as all of them watched him without a word. “So I take it as a yes?” Kenren looked around, trying to break the tension. “Come on guys, did you all forget how to talk?” 

“General…” Gorou continued as he followed along with Kenren. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” That was a very loaded question. “Your… sparring partner?” Is that the code they use then? Sparring partner?

Kenren feigned ignorance again. “Of course not! You think just anyone could beat me in a fight?” He took a mock fighting stance, spinning around as he did so. “You’re all welcome to take me on any time!” He made eye contact with Hikaru who lifted his pastel sniper rifle meaningfully, and quickly added. “Only rule is no weapons! But I’ll knock anyone down in a old fashioned fistfight!” 

“Sir.” That came from the beauty by Tenpou’s bookshelves, a willowy wisp of a man with short jet black hair and piercing amber eyes. Another Sargent this time, Nakamura Takumi. “You seem to have the same type of neck injury as the Marshal when he sparred against the same opponent.” He exchanged a meaningful look with the last member of the First Unit present, Lance-corporal Yasuda Masumi. “Masumi and I have sparred with him before as well when our regular partners… when they owed him debts.” He looked away, as the shadow of a painful memory resurfaced. 

Just how many people did this Hideaki hurt? How many had suffered at his hands like them? 

“Yu- the Marshal helped me the last time though.” Masumi replied, closing the book he was flipping through. “Though, that only meant that the Marshal got the brunt of it. It is my deepest shame and I will do anything to make up for it, even if it means sacrificing my life for him.” Masumi was the youngest in the First Unit, and Kenren didn’t even want to think about what that implied. “That’s why we’re all here. In case the Marshal’s old sparring partner shows up again.” 

“Also because you can’t be trusted to protect him anymore.” That was Hikaru, who had gone back to cleaning yet another pastel rifle he had produced from somewhere. This one was lavender, and seemed to have little flowers painted up the stock. “We all heard from Fourth Unit Captain Yamada what you did last night. Along with unnecessary descriptions of your nether regions, which I could have done without.” He made a face and shook his head. “I wanted to just snipe you from across the field when I heard it, but for some reason Yuu-chan didn’t let me.” 

“I would have sniped you as well.” Takumi piped up. “I can’t aim for sugar, but hitting you more than once would be a more fitting way to end your cheating butt.” He glared at him, “I don’t know what the Marshal sees in you. You can’t even keep it in your pants for the sole night you were unsupervised. We wanted to stay with him last night as well, but he kept on insisting that you’ll come back. That you just stepped out for a cigarette and be back to comfort him soon enough. Guess the allure of a four person fun time was too much, huh?” Takumi never swore. Kenren had always wanted to find out why, but he expected by now that the reason would probably be horrifying as well.

“He is a _Kamiki_ after all, what did you expect?” Hikaru mocked, staring right at Kenren. “Those prancy high class elites don’t care about what lowly fucktoys like us think, right? We’re just expensive property to be bought and then discarded or traded whenever he’s bored of us. Look at him. It's right there on his forehead.” 

He didn’t know when he did it, but he was somehow holding Hikaru up by the front of his shirt, angry tears forming at the side of his eyes. “Don’t call me that! I’m not like those sick fucks who-” 

“Who what? Thoughtlessly put their hands on someone else like how you’re doing right now?” Hikaru smirked. “Go ahead, hit me. Rape me afterwards if you want as well. That’s all I’m good for after all.” 

“Hikaru, enough!” That was a sorely missed voice. Tenpou strode up to them, hair still wet from his bath as he pushed at Kenren to put the Corporal down. “You were never to talk about yourself like that ever again! You’re not property. Not anymore. None of us are! We’re soldiers now. Proper ones, and I will take care of all of you as your commanding officer. Have I failed in that?” Tenpou looked at Hikaru, who had the sense to look ashamed. “Well, have I? All of those who bought you, who hurt you, they’re gone now. None of you need to cling to the past any more.” 

“But yours is still here.” Masumi stepped forward. “And we’re worried about you.” He stood next to Takumi, holding his hand tight. “Yours… yours is the worst of them all. We know you still have the scars, and so do I, even after you stepped in. You shouldn’t have done that. He left you there for dead, Yuu-chan!” 

Tenpou looked back at him with suddenly narrowed eyes. “And what did I say about addressing me by a dead person's name?” 

“Not to do it, Marshal Tenpou.” All of them quietly mumbled.

“Good. You are all dismissed. Get out of here and back to your own quarters.” Tenpou watched them all file out, looking like kicked puppies. “Hika, that includes you and _all_ the guns..” He addressed the scrowling corporal, nodding to the suddenly much larger pile of weaponry on the floor. 

Once Hikaru picked up all his guns and left then did Tenpou turn to his general. He stared up at him then turned away again, attempting to restart the morning’s routine. 

“Tenpou.” Kenren caught at his arm, forcing him to look at him. “We need to talk, okay?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you anon who gave me kudos, you've warmed this writer's cold dead heart. And the rest of you who happen to still be here of course. You're all loved. 
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	21. Probation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenren does what he does best.  
> NSFW ~~but not in a bad way this time~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another of those small short chapters that got merged together into a slightly longer chapter (because I can't figure out a good part to put the break)

“No. I’m tired from today, and I just want to sleep.” Tenpou tried to shake him off. “You have other things to do anyway. I hear _Yamada_ ,” That name was almost a hiss, “doesn’t mind you back for round five or whatever. He keeps on telling everyone how amazing you were, so obviously you have a willing fan to go back to.” This was a new voice. Not his commanding officer, not the scared youth, this was Tenpou just being chillingly cold to him. 

Kenren hated it. It made him mad somehow, even though the rational part of him knew that he was completely in the wrong in all of this. 

“Maybe I will.” Again, his mouth will get him killed one day. “But only if you give me permission.” He let go, expecting Tenpou to turn around and punch him across the face but the marshal didn’t. 

He stayed where he was, half turned away from Kenren. “And why would you need my permission to go screw Yamada?” If the previous voice was cold, this was freezing. 

“Because you own my heart.” He got down on his knees again, not daring to look up. “Please, Tenpou, I fucked up. I messed up big time and I’m a giant whore who doesn’t deserve you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied and my dick got the better of me and I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you heard the news about Hideaki. I went to the infirmary earlier to see what he was like and he was… he was… Ten-chan, if you had survived living with that monster for so long, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known.” He shut his eyes at this point, his hands clasped together as he begged.

The seconds passing by seemed like an eternity. 

Kenren felt something unbuckling his collar, and fingers brushed against his neck. He flinched, just a bit has Tenpou traced the bruises. “You didn’t have to do that.” Came the whisper and Kenren saw Tenpou kneeling in front of him as well, a mixture of emotions on his face. “You didn’t have to see him, Kenren. That’s my burden to bear. Don’t get me wrong, I'm still angry at you for Yamada but going to see Hus- Hideaki is not something you need to deal with.” Tenpou undid the rest of Kenren’s jacket, fingers dancing over his clavicles, his shoulders and down his waist where he heard Tenpou breathe a sigh of relief to not find more bruising. Slowly, Kenren felt Tenpou wrap his arms around him under his jacket, until he pressed his face against his chest, holding him close. It felt like a strange way to bookend the day, but he didn’t fight it.

They slowly toppled over backwards, Kenren found a soft paperback to act as a pillow and they laid there, on the floor with only the sound of their breaths breaking the silence. Kenren could feel like spots of water from Tenpou’s not quite dried hair on his chest but again, he didn’t mind. Was he forgiven? He figured he didn’t really want to find out yet and also because Tenpou had really fallen asleep on top of him. Guess he wasn’t kidding about the reason for not wanting to talk. Kenren used his free hand to pluck Tenpou’s glasses off him and put them to the side, then against all odds, started to drift off as well.

 

Usually his sleep was interrupted. If he had any dreams, it was quickly forgotten by the time he woke up. But this time was different.   
_  
He was running in the dream, running in a forest away from something. What it was, he had no idea, other than it was big and scary and he needed to get away fast. The forest slowly changed, and he was running past shelves upon shelves of books. The monster was still chasing him, causing the earth to tremble with each booming step. The shelves began to topple, and Kenren saw Tenpou up ahead in a clearing of books, fast asleep on the floor next to his desk._

_He needed to get Tenpou out of there because suddenly he knew that that Tenpou was the monster’s real target all along. Kenren ran over to the clearing but every step he took seemed to take him further away. He shouted as loud as he could, trying to make him wake up but the marshal didn’t seem to hear him, turning over to another position as he slept._

_The monster reached his love, and turned back to give Kenren a sickening grin. Now that he could see him, the monster was a huge formless scary thing, bigger than any kami should ever be with black flames dancing around his silhouette It reached down to pick something up and showed Kenren a small brown mouse in the palm of its hand. The mouse somehow had tiny glasses on, and was scurrying about, making terrified squeaking noises as it tried to escape. Kenren could only watch helplessly as the monster dangled the mouse over its huge gaping toothed mouth, about to swallow it whole._

_“No! No! Tenpou!” He broke free from his spell and shoved the monster as hard as he could but suddenly he couldn’t breathe. The monster was still in front of him, but he somehow felt something around his neck, crushing his windpipe. He had to save the mouse, it was his fault the monster knew where to go. It was his fault he wasn’t already there with the mouse, that he led the monster straight to the mouse’s little hideout of books and paper.  
_  
“Kenren!” Someone was shaking him awake. He opened his eyes and saw Tenpou, his eyes wide as he bent over him. He’s safe! Kenren sat up, and immediately hugged him. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He held him tight, hoping that this wasn’t a cruel dream where his love would vanish as soon as he let go. “Ten-chan, you’re here. You’re not a mouse that got eaten. I’m sorry. You were such a cute mouse though, with your tiny glasses and I couldn’t stop the monster, and I’m a horrible person who can’t even run properly and the monster took you and-” 

He would have continued except for the fact that Tenpou was laughing, quietly at first, but his whole body soon began to shake from trying to suppress it. “Tiny… mouse glasses. How would you even make?" He continued laughing, getting off Kenren as he did so.

Kenren breathed a sigh of relief, and stroked Tenpou’s hair again. It was rare he had a dream, much less a nightmare. He was usually on the opposite end of this, waking Tenpou up from the nightmare and comforting him instead. It was draining to be on the other side. “What time is it?” The sun was already coming in the windows, lighting up the messy office again. His back ached from sleeping on the floor but he didn’t really want to bring it up again. 

Tenpou pulled away, looking at him with a small smile on his face that quickly disappeared. 

Oh no. “Am I still in trouble?” Kenren asked, as the tendrils of guilt started creeping into him again. 

Tenpou nodded, sitting back as he folded his arms and looked away. This is a very dangerous situation, also because tiny pout version one is back, and it took all of Kenren’s willpower to not kiss that pout away. He bit his lip, suddenly realising that Tenpou had put on one of Kenren’s tees instead, a deep v-neck collar style that was popular at that time, and said collar was pulled to the side showing off a lot more shoulder and chest than he normally got to see. It was all he could suddenly focus on, with Tenpou’s hair that fell just right over his skin. He was aware that his mouth was suddenly very dry and he was very, very erect. 

“Ten-chan?” Even his voice betrayed him, suddenly thick with lust. “I… I need to use the bathroom and you need to go get some _coffee_.” 

Tenpou shook his head, “I’m not thirsty.” He continued looking away, and Kenren swore the pout was intentional this time. 

Get it together, Kamiki! He screamed at himself in his head. You’re in the doghouse for not being able to keep your dick under control and losing control right now, with the one person, you should **never** do it with is something you need to don’t want to happen. 

“Ten-chan, _please_.” This was torture. “I need you to please move away because-”

“Because what?” Tenpou looked back at him, a knowing look on his face. “Why should I go? This is my office.” He stretched then, and there was no way this was unintentional now. 

“Because I want to make love to you so badly right now and I’m trying my best not to even move because if I do I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop myself.” 

A flash of something crossed his face, but Tenpou kept on with his strangely amused expression. “Really? So even if I sit here all day, you’ll keep as still as you can so you won’t touch me?” 

“Yes.” He didn’t even hesitate in his reply. “But it really hurts Ten-chan. Please let me just take care of it in the bathroom.” 

Again, that flash and Tenpou turned a pretty shade of pink and looked down, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “Kenren… It makes me feel funny when you say that.” 

Bad! Bad! No-wait! Good! Good! Very good! 

He sat up then, realising that his marshal was trying hard to cover his own erection as well. “Can I please touch you? I’ll stop immediately if you want me to. You can trust me, and you did say you wanted to try again, back before everything got crazy. I won’t hurt you. You know I will never hurt you.” 

Tenpou was watching him from under his eyelashes, his breathing coming extremely short and fast. “Yes. But-” 

“Anything.” It was really hurting now, and if it was literally anyone else in front of him, they would be rolling around on any appropriately soft surface ten minutes ago. How could anything be worse than this?

He saw his love sweep his eyes over his body, “I get to touch you back.” It was such a innocent request that he almost burst out laughing but that was all he needed to immediately take his lips in his. 

Tenpou seemed to let him take the lead at first, but soon he kissed back and Kenren felt wandering hands slip into his jacket again. It reminded Kenren of sleeping with virgins, how inexperienced Tenpou was at giving back instead of passively receiving mostly pain and fear. It was far from the truth, but somehow it felt better to think of him as a virgin than of his past. They broke off, breathing heavily and Kenren moved to attack that fair neck with kisses, avoiding the healing bitemarks left by both him and Li. He felt a pang of guilt again for his actions, but quickly tried to think about other things. Mainly on how to show his lover how physical affection doesn’t need to hurt. 

“You like this?” He asked as he slid his hands up Tenpou’s tee. Idly he wondered if his Ten-kuma was the type to be blessed with sensitive nipples as he brushed against a hard nub and was rewarded with a sudden gasp and very very positive feedback. “Didn’t he ever-” Vigorous head shaking and without any warning, Kenren’s pants were unzipped and deft fingers worked absolute magic. 

Oh fuck, forget that virgin thing earlier, this was the best handjob he had ever received and for some reason he had the feeling it could be even _better_. “Ten-chan.” He tried to focus back on his love, but it was almost too good. “I usually last longer, but you need to stop because-”

“Want me to use my mouth?” That nearly got him right there, those words he always imagined, but always in a much, uh, polite phrasing. He moved Tenpou’s hand away, instantly regretting it as he did. 

“I would love it, but, maybe next time.” He took a deep breath and went back to kissing up and down the other side of his neck and shoulder. “This is about you. I’m gonna make _you_ feel good, so my uh little general can wait, okay?” He swore Tenpou perked up at that, a mischievous grin on his face. 

“So you’re not allowed to cum before I do. I like this.” Horny Tenpou was direct and to the point. Kenren loved it. 

He nodded, taking his jacket off. “Exactly, my dear Ten-kuma-chan. But, I have one request.”

“I won’t take my clothes off.” Tenpou pulled his tee down again, looking somewhat ashamed. Probably yet another horrifying explanation behind that, so best to just move along. 

Kenren tipped his face up and kissed him gently. “I can work with that, but my request is can we please move somewhere other than the floor? I know beds are a touchy place for you, so may I suggest the couch? We’re not gonna do anything other than oral, okay?” 

He nodded, “Wouldn’t you rather fuck me?” he asked, looking slightly scared.

The general drew a deep breath and filed that question away for the next time he was deployed somewhere far away and without Tenpou. It was unfair, hearing Tenpou’s voice say such filthy things. “Do _you_ want me to?” He asked, already knowing the answer. 

It was the smallest head shake he had ever seen, but even if he had said yes, Kenren didn’t think that pushing forward so quickly was in the best interest for both of them. “Then I will respect your wishes and show you how both of us can have a good time anyway.” He got up and picked his marshal up, heading over to the couch. Kenren put Tenpou down and got between his legs. “I’ve always wanted to see this view.” He said a huge grin on his face as he pulled the waistband of the other man’s shorts down to expose a nicely sized cock. 

“Kenren! I should be the one to suck you, you don’t.” Tenpou looked down at him with a blush, trying to move away but the moment Kenren took him in his mouth, made the sweetest moan he had ever heard. That’s another memory for the spank bank to be sure. Turns out horny Tenpou was also very vocal. 

Kenren wouldn’t say that he was the very _best_ at blowjobs, but you wouldn’t know that by all the pleasured moans and sighs that he managed to elicit from his normally quiet love. Tenpou finished even quicker than he expected, not very surprising given his past history. Kenren found a box of tissues to discreetly spit it out and turned back to see the thing he always imagined after seeing it only once, his marshal in post orgasm bliss. 

“I came. It's my turn to suck you.” Tenpou breathed out, feeling lighter than air. “Thank you, Kenren. Now let me suck your cock.” 

Everything about this whole exchange would fuel his imagination for the next few millennia at least. Kenren didn’t think he could get even harder, but all it took was them to exchange positions and the sight of Tenpou in between his legs, brushing his hair out of the way before looking up at him and saying “I’m very good at sucking, don’t worry. You’ll cum really quickly.” with a totally straight face was better than those shady dick pills he never tried. 

Tenpou didn’t lie. That was legitimately the best blowjob he ever received, and Kenren had fucked about half the willing participants heaven had to offer. His love didn’t have to worry about him cheating again, because nothing, not even an orgy can ever feel better than the almost illegal things Tenpou did with his mouth. He came the hardest he had ever did, and he was just in a foursome a few days ago. 

“Your cum tastes interesting.” Tenpou said to him after he was done, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I won't say it's tasty or anything, but it's not disgusting? Its okay, I guess. I don't mind sucking you again.” 

Kenren smiled, and pulled him up to sit next to him. “Ten-chan. I thought I’d never say this, but stop talking dirty. It's almost against the law.” He cuddled into him, “And second, you know you can spit it out, right?” 

Puzzled green eyes met his, “I can? You won’t get mad?” There was too much to unpack in that reply, so Kenren just shook his head and held him close. “Thank you for making me cum.” 

“Ten-chan, I just asked you to stop with the dirty talk. It is the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’m sure you’re not up for a round two.” Kenren gently shook his love, amused to see him half asleep again. “Didn't think you were one of those that k.o after coming.” He teased, seeing Tenpou smile and press his head against his chest.

“Normally I don't come.” He replied with a soft sigh. “I just cry for a while. Don't feel like crying now though. Feel happy.” Tenpou laughed for a bit. “It's so weird. I like it. Can we do it again? Later maybe.” He continued in that vein, murmuring softly as he fell asleep. “It's nice that nothing hurts. I love you.”

They laid there for a while longer, with Tenpou sleeping on Kenren’s lap. It _was_ nice. A good respite from all the stress of the the past few days. Kenren almost couldn’t believe that it even happened, to be honest. Not that he’s complaining or anything. He looked down at his marshal sleeping peacefully, it was a rare sight to be sure. 

His neck still hurt though, a chilling reminder of the kami he left restrained in the infirmary. It would take a while for him to be released and stand trial, and Kenren had no idea how that would work. Sure, Sakamoto Yuuki died in the fire, but so many people seemed to know that wasn’t true. The men in the First Unit are not likely to tattle, but who else knew? Suzu, the nurse, Commander Goujun, Tenpou’s irritating friend Konzen, who else is there? It seemed that the four of them he met yesterday all enlisted at about the same time as Tenpou, so there must have been a trigger or something. Some change in the rules perhaps? The army’s rulebook seemed to grow thicker every time he checked, and therefore not worth going through. But that means he would need to get multiple rulebooks, from different printings and go through all of them and that means…. ughhhh… reading paperwork. His true arch nemesis. 

Today was a day off for both of them though, and he loved Tenpou, but, maybe, not quite enough to devote his leisure time to poring over dusty pages. Yet. The next day off, not today. Today would be a day just to relax. Maybe both of them would go somewhere together, somewhere away from all these messes, and just have fun fishing or eating whatever foodie trend is sweeping the restaurants, or maybe he’ll suffer through accompanying his lover as he pulled him around the Anim*te or bookstore. 

He heard Tenpou yawn and then stretch out in his lap, murmuring happily as he got up. 

It was a beautiful sight. 

“You want to head somewhere later?” Kenren asked, handing him his glasses. “Its our day off, and you did promise me a nice date.” 

Tenpou put his glasses on and looked over at him, suddenly blushing as he nodded and looked down. “We… I… You… Thank you. That was nice.”

Kenren grabbed his hand, noting that the red marks around his wrist from Li Touten’s attempt was healing up nicely. In a few more days, they should fade away completely. He kissed the back of his hand, putting on a suave expression. “Thank you for trusting me.” Kenren batted his eyelashes at Tenpou, smiling when that got the desired effect of seeing his lover laugh. 

“That’s when I knew you wouldn’t go back on your word.” Tenpou said shyly, “When I saw that you were so turned on, but you didn’t act on it because you didn’t know if I wanted to. And, um.” He covered his face with his hands, “I realised that you meant it, and I was _safe_ with you. And also you looked really hot like that. Oh no, Kenren, you’re making me blush like some shoujou manga heroine! If I start calling you Tamah*me, please get Hikaru to shoot me.” 

Kenren moved his hands away. “It's not embarrassing to find me hot.” He joked, “And you know you can trust me now, so if you ever want to do that again, I’m always up for it. Maybe we can do more next time, but again, only if you really want it. Or if you lose interest halfway, not that it would happen because I’m awesome, you can just tell me and I’ll go finish in the next room.” He ruffled Tenpou’s hair, seeing the blush on his lover’s face fade away. 

Tenpou nodded, then suddenly moved in and kissed him again. “I’ve decided you’re on forgiveness probation for fucking Yamada and those four barcrew.” He said when they pulled away. “But if you-”

“Wait a second, Yamada said it was four other people?” Kenren asked confusedly.

The look on his lover’s face could kill. “That’s what Yamada said. Are you calling him a liar as well?” Kenren slowly shook his head, silently wondering if there were actually others he had missed when he ran out the door. “Okay. But, if I ever find out that you’re screwing other people without my permission, I’m going to cut your dick off then let Takumi use you as a practice target. He can’t aim to save his life but that just means your death will be a long and slow one. Am I clear?” 

Kenren didn’t doubt that Tenpou would go carry out that threat. One does not climb all the way up to the rank of Marshal without following through on promises. “Yes, sir.” He gulped again when Tenpou frowned at him. 

“Don’t call me that when we’re together like this.” Oh no, tiny pout appeared again!

“Of course, Ten-kuma-chan?” He tried, feeling blood rush downwards. It was such a turn on, it was unfair. 

Tenpou looked down, then back up at him, a sly smile on his face. “Kenren, you must have some fertility kami genes in your bloodline because this recharge time is insanely fast.” 

“Maybe. Ten-chan you don’t need to do anything though, I can-” He groaned as his pants were unzipped yet again and clever fingers worked him. 

“I like this.” Tenpou said, watching him closely. “It’s fun hearing you make all those sounds and I can stop at any-” 

The hands slowed down and Kenren bit his lip. “Ten-chan.” He panted out, “You’re a horrible, horrible cocktease.” 

A knowing look and Tenpou batted away his own hands or movements to continue. “Should I stop then?” He asked as he leaned over, looking up at him. Kenren shook his head, shivering as his lover got closer and closer to his throbbing erection. “Or do you want me to use my mouth again?” 

“I don’t care, but please Ten-chan!” He had given thought about how it would difficult to find his release with Tenpou in the past, always resigning himself to lots of cold showers and solitary pleasure. It had come up before with other lovers who couldn’t keep up or hated that he was always ready to go. But never in all his scenarios did he ever think this would be the one that worked out. 

Tenpou wiped his mouth, swallowing as he did so. “I like sucking you.” He repeated, “It's very different from… from what I’m used to. It's fun.” He got up from the couch. “I’m gonna freshen up and pick something to wear. Make me breakfast.” 

Kenren stared after him, a growing smile on his face. This was the best scenario. No doubt about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading so far! I felt that poor Ken-nya needed some cheering up with some indication that Ten-kuma is starting to really heal after so long. He's quite a tough mousey after all. I've written out the barebones outline of the events of Yuuki's life at last because I'm annoyed at myself when I re-read and realise that I've contradicted myself in the past chapters. I've never actually had a fic with so many chapters before. 
> 
> Again, thank you for reading this and hope you have a wonderful day.
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>  If you don't want a reply for any reason, please feel free to sign your comment with "whisper" and I will appreciate but not reply. I do understand that this fic is quite uhh not very PG-ish (at the very least) so I will get it if you feel a bit awkward to get a reply (esp if you are on anon)


	22. Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if you've somehow gotten this far and have no idea what an An*mate is, it is basically a huge retail chain that sells anime merchandise. I've been there only once when I visited Japan. My wallet couldn't survive that much damage to it in such a short time, sadly.

“Ten-chan, do you have any clothes that _aren't_ uniform or your horrible plaid shirts?” Kenren flipped through Tenpou's main closet, pulling out a black blazer. “This seems okay.” He found a cream coloured boat neck top that would be perfect to go underneath as well. It seemed strangely out of place with all the utilitarian clothing in there but waste not want not. “Anyway, try these on.” He walked over to the bathroom and stuck his hand through the crack in the opened door. 

It sort of amused him that he still wasn't allowed to see his lover naked. But then again, horrifying reason number 29191 would probably be why and Kenren didn't care to go through all of them. He had a well fitted navy shirt on, as well as his best pair of slim cut jeans. This was Date Night Outfit 3, calculated to be formal enough but still keeping some edge to it. 

He figured that Tenpou would still like to have at least two layers on at all times and the top plus blazer combo would still look somewhat put together yet comfortable.

“Come on Ten-chan, any longer and that store you like to go to will be closing!” He called out and immediately the door opened. 

“It doesn't close for another three hours Kenren. I checked.” Tenpou grinned and took his hand. “Does this pass your cool kids standard?” He looked down at himself, plucking at the top. “I think this belonged to Konzen at one point. But he has way too many clothes so I don't think he remembers leaving it here.” 

That explained the top at least. And hey, it isn't a depressing one. Kenren put his hand to his chin, pretending to examine him critically. “Well, you'll never be as cool as me, but you pass.” He straightened the blazer, feeling something hard and familiar under it. “And am I to assume that you're packing heat under this really nicely tailored blazer too?” 

Tenpou nodded, showing him the pastel green holster straps under his blazer. They had white bunnies painted on. Kenren groaned softly. “Lemme guess, Corporal Ten-chan Is Too Good For You So Give Up Or I’ll Shoot gave that to you.” 

He tilted his head to the side, looking slightly amazed. “How did you guess?” He grabbed his hand and playfully kissed it. “Also you exaggerate how much Hika hates you. He thinks you’re kind of... dum-, stu-. hmn, he thinks you’re nicer than the rest.”

“Wow, thanks for telling me he thinks I'm better than literal rapists and murderers.” 

Tenpou just smiled at him and Kenren was aware of him looking right at his chakra. “You're really a Kamiki? Close relatives to the Emperor?” 

Kenren stretched and put his hands behind his head. “Well, I don't personally know the old fucker but I've seen him around when I was young. My older brothers usually dealt with him. I was more interested in other things, ya know?” 

“There was someone who looked a lot like you at my auction.”

That got his attention. Kenren just laughed nervously and tried to change the topic. “Well, there are lots of people who look like me, but only one of me, unfortunately for all the ladi- for you.” He went over to the front door, grabbing the rarely used keys. “Come on, we're wasting sunlight!” 

Tenpou looked as though he was going to say something but then smiled and took the proffered hand. 

They walked out, hand in hand, drawing a lot of whispered attention. It didn't seem to bother Tenpou at all, and usually it wouldn't bother Kenren either but for some reason the stares and whispers seemed to be concentrating on Tenpou. Kenren looked over at his love, seeing him look up at the sky as they walked. There was a serious expression on his face, and it worried him. 

“So what does this maid and butler cafe have regarding food?” That seemed to break him out of his train of thought, and Tenpou looked up at him, a smile appearing on his face instead.

“Well, probably cafe food, I guess? Are you hungry?” 

“Of course! It took forever to find anything nice in that closet of yours. We gotta get you some new threads while we're out as well.” Kenren was aware of Tenpou looking at his chakra again. “And if you're so curious about the family I left behind, I guess I can tell you some stories later.” 

The only response he got was a quick squeeze of his hand and they continued walking over to the town.

***

Kenren had been to the town Tenpou suggested once before, bemoaning it for the lack of strip clubs and only one nightclub. It was full of bookstores, and libraries, as well as otaku merchandise shops. It seemed to suit his nerdy lover quite well. Almost too well, actually. 

They passed by a shrine, and Kenren looked up at the sign to confirm his suspicions. “Ten-chan, this is your town, isn’t it?” He was suddenly pulled ahead by his hand and saw Tenpou grin cheerfully as he nodded. 

“It's not much, but yes it is. I want to make a stop somewhere before we go eat.” 

“Not the An*mate, store, you promised!” He ran along and almost bumped into Tenpou as they stopped short. 

It wasn’t the An*mate store or anything similar. It was a cemetery. There were two fresh graves, both of them men, judging from the pictures left there. They looked like every other human Kenren had seen, with no trace of anything that would make them stand out.

“Good.” He heard Tenpou say quietly. He turned and saw an even more uncharacteristically serious expression on his face. It was both solemn and yet there was an undercurrent of anger in there. “Let’s go to the cafe. I’m glad the trash was finally taken out, filth like them don’t belong here.” 

Tenpou grabbed his hand again and tried to pull him along but Kenren resisted. He kept on staring at the graves, trying to figure out what they did to warrant such a response from Tenpou. One of them was probably early twenties, from the look of his picture. It was cropped out from a group photo, judging from the other arms around the man’s shoulders. He was wearing a jersey of some type, a sport team? The other man was older. He had a more professional picture of him taken at one point, with him in a suit and tie and distinguished beard. Judging by the flowers left on the older man’s grave, he must have had some people who missed him. 

Kami weren’t allowed to kill. It was a rule, but accidents happen and usually those accidents happen to other kami, hence Yuuki’s disappearance in the fire or how Hideaki was able to get away with murdering his previous wives. It was forbidden to kill humans because once you start, where do you stop? 

“Kenren?” He looked over at his love, seeing his love look at him with a quizzical expression as he held his hand out again. That black blazer really suited him, and Kenren could just barely trace out where the gun hidden underneath was. Kenren had never actually killed anyone else, not kami, not human, fish maybe?. Hold up, fish don’t count. But his Ten-kuma… his Ten-kuma probably had, at the very least, he had attempted to kill Hideaki. _He’s surprisingly tough for something so pretty._

He took the hand and was pulled along again. This time they stopped in front of a brightly coloured shop front. There were standees advertising their cute maids and butlers as well as a frog themed set meal that looked barely enough for an appetiser. There wasn’t anyone outside though, and on closer looked, the shop seemed to be closed. Oh no, this wasn’t good. They had come down just to eat here after all. He looked over at Tenpou, seeing him sigh disappointedly. “I guess we’ll have to find somewhere else...” He said, another version of tiny pout on his face. 

Kenren quickly let go of his hand and turned around. “Well, I’m sure there’s other places here.” He said, pretending to survey the street. We’re in public! Get it together! It's not fair he looks so cute and adorable and I want to kiss him again like this morning- Nope! That’s not helping! “I really need the bathroom, Ten-chan. Where’s the nearest one?”

That pout disappeared into an evil smile as he pointed to the An*mate store just next door. 

Kenren could feel the colour drain from his face and he shook his head. “No, its okay, I don’t need it anymore.” 

He heard Tenpou laugh and then pull him in the other direction. “There's a shop that sells curry rice beside it. It's pretty good if I say so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because I started working full time again and while my brain wants to write, my body wants to go back to being the ruler of the blanket kingdom.


	23. Salt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations in a cafe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work has been insane. I barely slept at all recently. Thank you if you're still here! Mind dropping a comment or kudos so I have some confirmation that there's other people who think I'm not completely insane for writing these?

The store was a small hole in the wall operation with what seems to be one elderly woman dressed in bright red and white who ran everything. In spite of that, the place was bustling. She spotted the pair and immediately beamed, unceremoniously kicking another pair that was finishing up their meal out.

“Yuu-kun!” She hugged him tight, then let go, “Oh silly me, it's Ten-kun now isn't it? You've grown so much! And finally got something nice to wear! You're still too skinny though! I'll get you double, no triple the portion and you better finish everything!” Kenren watched as she fussed over him, noticing the small happy grin on Tenpou’s face as he let her check over him like a grandmother. She pulled up his sleeves and tsked at the fading marks around his wrists. “And where is Hika-kun and the rest? They need a scolding for even letting you get these!” She finally looked around for the rest of their men and spotted Kenren. “I've never seen this one before! My, he's a handsome one, isn't he?” 

Without warning, Grandma Ran, as Kenren was starting to think of her in his mind, was all over the general instead, asking him a million and one questions ranging from his favourite food to if he remembered to wash behind his ears in the shower. Mixed in with the innocent motherly questions was a very quiet strange one.

“Did Yuu, I mean Ten-kun help you take out the trash yet?” 

Tenpou immediately answered before he could try and figure out what she meant. “Kenren doesn't need to worry about the trash. He wants to try your world famous curry rice! Make it extra spicy please, Shio-chan?”

Kenren was aware of the older lady giving him a measured look before she turned back to Tenpou with another smile. “Of course, my dear. Anything for you.” She pinched his cheek. “You haven't aged a bit since we met, all those years ago.” 

Two words suddenly flashed through Kenren’s mind. _Shrine maiden_

Sure she was a bit unorthodox but so was literally everything else about his love. Seeing the two interact made Kenren feel a slight twinge of guilt for not bothering to check on his shrine and town for so long. It didn’t surprise him that Tenpou clocked him being from a line of fertility related kami earlier. It was a prestigious background to be sure, but that also meant that he could get lost in the overwhelming mass of shrines and monuments dedicated to, well if not him, then his family. 

Speaking of family, “You said you were going to tell me more about where you came from.” It was a busy store but for some reason it felt like it was only the two of them. Kenren looked around, seeing everyone else moving in slow motion. He internally rolled his eyes. Of course, he's in Tenpou’s territory right now, so this isn't too unexpected. 

He looked over to his love, seeing Tenpou looking at him with an strange half smile on his face. “Well, the usual details, I guess.” He replied with a shrug. “You figured out most of it by now. I have five brothers and a sister, that are mostly legit. Then about 12 more that aren't. Probably more. The old man liked getting horizontal. Actually of us do.“ He shrugged then went on, feeling intensely uncomfortable. “That's why I always use protection, I've seen enough of what happens if you don't.”

The silence was broken by two bowls of curry rice being plopped down in front of them. Kenren looked up to see Shio beaming down at him, the only one other than the two of them who were not moving in slow motion. “I do wish you would warn me before you do things like this, Ten-kami-chan.” She ruffled Tenpou’s hair, causing a genuine laugh to erupt from his love. “I don’t mind it, but it still gets unnerving to see people just stop!” She looked back at Kenren, and he had the feeling of being sized up yet again. “And you make sure you take care of this silly kami of ours, I’ve never seen you before, but I been to other towns and figured out a few things here and there. You’re more, well, aesthetically pleasing than the others, though the ones Ten-chan here brings tend to be on the prettier rather than handsome side. You might just be an outlier though, and you did say you didn’t need any help with garbage disposal earlier.” She stepped back and looked at the two of them with a critical eye. “Ten-chan usually brings the entire gang down when he visits, and it's just the two of you today, plus you made him wear something other than the horrible plaid shirts.” She suddenly put her hands to her mouth and gasped, tears in her eyes. “It's a date!” 

Kenren looked behind her to see Tenpou quietly laughing to himself, bent over as he wiped a tear from his eye. “You got it right Shio-chan. This is Kenren. He’s… he’s my special friend.” Tenpou was looking away, a small embarrassed blush on his face. “I think he’s really nice and he proved that he won't ever need to be disposed of with the trash.” The blush grew deeper and Tenpou reached out to grab Kenren’s hand in his. 

Shio squealed, a happy grin on her face. “I see. Well, i was about to say that he looks like from fertility stock. I assume the sex must be mindblowing, Ten-kami-chan. Don't let me interrupt your date any further!” She winked at the both of them, then scuttled off, giggling happily to herself the entire time.

"She is definitely going to write fic about this." Tenpou shook his head but with a smile. "At least it has improved over the years." He looked down at his plate and picked up a spoonful. "Her cooking has always been good though." He held it out to Kenren. "Try it." 

Curry is normally brown, isn't it? Not… green. Kenren looked down at the spoon, then back to Tenpou who seemed to be hiding a very amused grin behind his usual smile. 

"Ken-nya!" Tenpou moved the spoon closer, a new type of tiny pout beginning to form. "Trust me, it's really delicious. I picked up the recipe on one the first few times I went down to Lower World. It was a strange continent but I really liked this type of curry." He looked to the side. "Hu- Hideaki hated it though. Yuuki could only make it when Hideaki was out of the house and it always sucked because Yuuki had to make do with whatever Hideaki had in the kitchen, which wasn't a lot to begin with and if Yuuki wasn't locked in a room for misbehaving." Kenren could see the familiar haunted look in Tenpou’s eyes again as he spoke about what happened to another person. "It also helped if Yuuki didn't have a broken arm to cook too."

"Why did you, i mean. Why would Yuuki have a broken arm?" He instantly regretted the question but it would have bugged him for days later.

Tenpou put down the spoon. "Punishment." He said softly. Kenren could feel his heart drop into his stomach with that single word. "Hideaki had a long list of things Yuuki couldn't do and denying Hideaki in bed was at the very top of it." He gave him a crooked smile. "You can't push someone off you if both your arms are broken after all." 

Maybe it was the fact that time had literally temporarily stopped around them, but Kenren swore that Tenpou _changed_. He shrank just a bit, and even the way he held himself was different. His hair was longer as well, brushing his mid back and he looked even more beautiful for some reason. Kenren couldn't stop staring at his love, wanting so much to hold him close again. "That's why he needs to die." The sentence came out in the same soft haunted voice as he shut his eyes, "I'll do it soon. Before he gets out and finds me. He doesn't know where I am right now so that's an advantage. General." Tenpou opened his eyes and looked at him, jolting him out of his reviere. "You have a mission tomorrow. It will be a week long. You're bringing all of the First Unit. Keep them occupied. It's a simple mission, just read the dossier I left on my desk." In the back of his mind Kenren could feel that same sense he had before, that things are going to go very wrong and very quickly. 

"Why isn't my Ten-kuma coming along for the mission?" Kenren grabbed his hand again. "I'm afraid Corporal Shooty-shooty might break into my tent and shooty-shooty me without my Ten-kuma to protect me." Normally this would elicit a smile or a laugh from his love but this time Tenpou just looked dead serious.

"I love you too much Kenren. I love you and everyone in the First Unit too much to let Husband hurt any of you. It's my burden to bear and I would rather let Husband focus on me than he go after Masa-kun or Taku-kun or especially Hika-chan. I can't let him near Hika, not after what he did to him." Tenpou pulled his hand out of Kenren's grip, picked his spoon up and started resolutely eating. 

"And I won't let _you_ near Hideaki, not after what he did to you." Kenren echoed his words, causing the brunette to stop with his spoon mid bite. "Why is it _your_ burden? You never chose to marry him. You never even chose to get married in the first place! It is your scumbag excuse of a stepfather who should be explaining to Hideaki that he was in the wrong to even think of selling his stepson out to the highest bidder! And besides, my Ten-kuma isn't married to him. _Yuuki_ is. And Yuuki is dead. At least that's what you keep on telling me." 

This was a new expression. Kenren had never actually seen his marshal look so completely disoriented by something he had said. Tenpou never lost an argument, verbal or otherwise in the period that he knew him. The sudden buzz and chatter from the other diners suddenly resumed and that's when he knew that he had gotten through. It always took some concentration for kami to slow down time, though it comes easier if said kami was in their domain.

"Look, I know you're new to this having a relationship that isn't total abusive shit but you need to know that I mean all the things I say. I will never hurt you and I will never let anyone hurt you, especially that overgrown fungus called Hideaki. I will never make you do anything you don't want to and if you don't want me to touch you ever again, I respect that. You really push all the right buttons for me, Ten-chan and I want nothing more than to show you how beautiful sex can be when both parties want it but I won't ever act on it unless you explicitly tell me to. But you already know that from the first time we shared a tent, dear marshallmallow." 

There was the faintest hint of a blush on Tenpou’s face and he broke into a embarrassed smile. "Kenren, don't call me that in public!" He continued smiling and moved his chair over to Kenren's side of the table. "I didn't expect you to really stop back then." He admitted as he laid his head on Kenren's shoulder. "I was going to brain you with the torchlight but you actually apologised and went back to sleep. I was so confused." He hugged him then and Kenren could feel the holstered gun pressing against him. "Also, those are some really sophisticated phrases you chose to use instead of how you normally talk." He said with a grin. "Lots of words just to convey that I turn you on and you want to fuck me really badly." He chuckled and continued resting his head on Kenren's shoulder. "I'm also a soldier, Ken-chan. I went through the same training as you did, along with the rest of the First Unit. Though I'm sure you didn't drive your instructor insane like we did." 

"Well, all new recruits drive their instructors insane." Kenren replied, kissing the top of Tenpou’s head affectionately. "And you guys had Mr Look At Me Funny And You're Having Bullets For Rations with you so I'm not surprised." 

"Again, Hika isn't that bad. He's just…" there was a pause. "He's angry. He spent a lot of his life being traded around like expensive property and well, everyone knows you’re from nobility from the get go.” He poked Kenren’s forehead. “You didn’t think of changing this when you joined up, dear general.” 

“How was I supposed to know?” Kenren replied, feeling affronted. “Everyone I knew had… except for the servants and… ok, you got me there.” That explained the different treatment he received from literally everyone who wasn’t his family. 

Tenpou chuckled. “You were never the brightest one either, even for nobility. But back to Hika, he just doesn’t want me to be with you. He’s afraid if I commit to you then if you… if you get bored of me, you might... ” He trailed off then, and moved off Kenren. “But that’s in the future. We have a few more centuries to go.” Tenpou tried to plaster the smile back on his face but both of them knew it was fake. “I’ll worry about it when it happens. You’re still going for the mission tomorrow and we can figure things out afterwards.” 

Kenren knew this expression. It meant that Marshal Tenpou just gave an order under the guise of Ten-kuma and neither will be swayed from the decision. 

“Why do you think you know what I’m going to do better than I do? Its not set in fucking stone that I’m going to leave you any time soon.” 

“You did.” Marshal Tenpou surveyed him dispassionately from behind his glasses. 

Kenren looked around, seeing that again, time had slowed down. “When, huh?” He challenged back, feeling his temper starting to flare up.

“Two nights ago, with Captain Yamada and the entire staff of Yowling Cat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't think Kenren was going to be forgiven that easily, were you?


	24. Barrier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations not in a cafe.   
> Tenpou is actually pretty good at minor paggro moves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all who commented/gave kudos. You are wonderful people and I hope your week goes awesome. <3  
> I have so much written in my notes doc. I just need to change them into something comprehensible to other people.  
> Thank you for reading this far in my weird roller coaster of a fic.

_Fuck._

The heat that was rising in him suddenly dispelled. Kenren stared dumbly at Tenpou, his turn to be at a loss for words. 

“Am I wrong?” Tenpou put down his utensils. “I am new to having a relationship like this, but I’m not new to feeling like a disposable toy, Kenren.” 

_No, wait!_

Kenren’s eyes widened and he quickly tried to speak but the words just couldn’t come out. 

“Hika was right. I was away for just one night and you replace me _immediately_ and come back once you’ve had your fun. True, you did try and make up for it once you saw how upset I was, but how do I know you won’t replace me again?” There was true hurt there. It wasn’t the dispassionate voice he used to recount the various horrible things that happened to Yuuki. It wasn’t the disappointed superior voice he used when one of the First Unit fucked up something minor like accidentally hurt themselves during trainings. “How do I know that when I let you fuck me, you won’t leave after you finally get your winnings? That you’re just playing the long game, that I’m just another name to tick off your to do list?” Tenpou looked to the side, his hands going to slip off his blazer. “Fuck me now then. Get it over with and leave before I get any more attached to you.” 

Kenren looked around seeing that time had stopped completely instead of slowing down. He saw Shio in the corner, frozen as well with a horrified look on her face. She was clutching a pen and small notepad with scribbles all over. He turned back to hear the clunk of the gun placed on the table as Tenpou continued undressing himself. 

“How do you want me?” His lover asked, as calm and quietly as asking him to pass the pepper. He stood up to unbuckle his belt and pull it out. “I promise not to struggle.” 

This was all happening too fast for him to process and as much as he enjoyed a strip show, getting one like this felt _wrong_. “Tenpou, no. Stop this.” He got up and pulled his hands away. 

“Is this not to your liking?” That monotone voice again. “We can go somewhere softer. I know how your back hurts sometimes, husband.” 

_No!_

He grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him gently. “Tenpou. Stop this. I told you, I don’t want to do it if you don’t want to.” He buttoned Tenpou’s pants back together and slipped his belt back on. “And you saying it like this is not you wanting it.” The open neckline of the top without the jacket showed the almost healed bite marks from the party’s aftermath. Luckily none of them were infected. Goes to show that time heals all wounds, at least for kami. There was a strange red mark just at the edge of the neckline though. He started to pull at the neckline. “Ten-chan, when did you get th-?” 

“No!” The next thing he knew was that he was face down on the admittedly clean floor with Tenpou staring horrifiedly down at him. Without another word, he bolted out the door. 

Time unfroze right then and Shio came over, all in a panic. “You fucking idiot!” She hit him with her notepad. That snapped Kenren out of his daze and he got up. “Go find him!” She pushed Tenpou’s blazer and gun into his arms. “He’s probably around the An*mate store next door and if you weren’t a kami, I’ll murder you right now!” She meant it. “Go and apologise for breaking his heart!” 

\----

Kenren ran through the An*mate store, checking all the levels but couldn’t find any trace of his lover. When questioned, the staff all seemed to know him, but they didn’t see him come in at all. He went out of the store, somehow holding a paper bag that held Tenpou’s blazer and gun, as well as a few manga volumes the staff members insisted he take with him. Where else could he be? It was a small town, but it was filled with things and stores Tenpou liked. Kenren swept his gaze down the main street, counting three small libraries as well as another four otaku shops nearby. He could be anywhere by now. 

There was at most an hour before sunset, and there was always the possibility that he had gone back to his office/apartment. A mass of blond hair caught his eye. Someone had just stepped out of a smaller merch store, dressed as inconspicuously as he could, except for the fact that golden hair in this part of the world isn’t as common, and that a black hoodie and jeans would be nondescript attire on anyone else but those stylish high end sandals were a brand that Kenren was familiar with. He remembered his sister and at least one brother loving them enough to buy out the entire store each time a new design came out. A pair would set him back half a month’s pay, or in the case of his siblings, a week’s allowance. That would probably narrow it down to Tenpou’s stealth otaku friend, what was his name again?

“Oi! Blondie!” He jogged over, and was met with a haughty glare. “What’s your name again? Dou.. Doujin?” 

Konzen flushed bright red and hugged the paper bag to himself. “What does it matter what I buy, asshole? Sometimes you need proper closure from the serie- Oh.” He corrected himself. “Its Douji, idiot. Where’s Tenpou? Didn’t see him in An*mate today.”  
In the back of his mind, Kenren filed that away as something to make fun of later but there were more pressing matters to attend to. 

“You’ve been his friend for a long time, right?” Kenren started out, now trying hard not to figure out what were in the contents of Konzen’s bag. “Where does he go when he’s upset?” The bag was slightly translucent and Kenren could just make out the cover of the books inside.

“How upset?” Konzen replied, shifting his arms to cover more of the bag. “Favourite character just died, manga got hiatus-ed, or one of you guys actually dying?” 

He could faintly see a large square with R21 on the top right corner. This just got more interesting until what the blond said sunk in. “What do you mean one of us? From his unit? It's rare for soldiers to actually die that often. My previous posting only had one death, and it was an battlefield accident.” 

Konzen looked at him with a strange mixture of pity and anger. “You’re really a fucking idiot, aren’t you?” He shook his head. “You don’t even know his name? Even though it happens so rarely?” 

“Why are you worked up over it? What does it have to do with anything? It was a workplace accident, we’re in the military. He’s…” Kenren struggled to remember, conjuring up a quiet man around his age. “A corporal, I think. Saito… Nao?” 

Konzen looked away. “He was in line to be general and his name was Saito Naozumi. Tenpou beat himself up over it, saying he couldn’t save him in time. He was supposed to take your place in the unit, but he died and management transferred you instead.” He tsked and focused back on Kenren. “Your own colleague dies and you don’t even know his name and think its an accident.” He rolled his eyes and made to leave but Kenren grabbed his arm. 

“I fucked up with Tenpou. Its bad. I don’t know if it's worse than Naozumi dying, but I really fucked up. I need to know where he normally goes.” All of this new information was making his head spin but he needed to focus on finding his love. 

Konzen immediately pushed him off, pure anger in his eyes. “What do you mean you fucked up?! Did you rape him like the rest?!” They were drawing a lot of attention from the passersby but Kenren couldn’t bother to slow down time like Tenpou did. 

“I didn’t! I would never!” Kenren balled his hands, feeling his nails dig into his palm. “I just… I cheated on him and he’s mad at me and he’s going to do something stupid soon, I can feel it.” 

“Oh.” Purple eyes regarded him coldly. “You did fuck up then. He actually likes you. I don’t think I’ve seen this happen before.” Konzen pointed back to the An*mate store. Go around and through the park. There’s a lake there. He was going to bring you and the unit fishing one day, though the chance of that happening now seems pretty slim.” 

He didn’t stick around to hear the rest, making a beeline to the back of the store. True enough, there was a lake behind the park. It was beautiful, he really would have loved to go fishing there one day. Kenren saw a crying figure on the far side sitting on the shore. Another concerned figure approached and the first made a wrist flick movement. The other figure rose into the air and was gently deposited on the other side of the lake, looking confused as hell before walking away. No prizes about who that is then. 

Kenren started to walk over, unsure of what to say. As he drew closer, he could see that same hand movement attempt to whisk him away as well. Unfortunately, he was also kami, and could easily counter. Tenpou looked up when his second or third attempt didn’t send the intruder away. “What do you want?” He had taken off his glasses and was trying hard to stop crying. “Go find someone else to fuck since you can’t get it from me.” 

Kenren knelt down next to him. He had no idea what to even say. Again, his trysts with previous lovers usually ended like this, with the other party heartbroken that he was unfaithful but all he usually did was to shrug and leave for the next mark. This was different. He felt _horrible_. He had seen his lover cry before, usually after nightmares and related to the boy Yuuki had been but this was because of _Kenren_ , unrelated to anything in his past. 

"They warned me, you know." Tenpou said in between sobs. "Not just my unit but literally everyone who knew you. Don't get close to Kenren, all he would do is use you and leave for the next one. It sounded like what Hideaki would do, but you never… you never physically hurt anyone to get what your way. You're all sweet honeyed words and reassuring hugs but I feel even worse than after Husband uses me." He wiped at his eyes again, trying to stop but he couldn't. "I could have gotten rid of you easily. I could have maneuvered you out of my life as easily as playing chess but I never found the heart to do so. He doesn't hurt me physically, so he can't be bad, right? Plus he makes me feel hot sometimes and he's so nice and handsome. I'm still such a stupid little mouse after all. Still a fucktoy even after all these years." 

All of this served nothing but to stab Kenren in the heart even more and more. Was this what they all really felt after he dumped them? It wasn't even their fault most of the time. He moved closer, trying to figure out what to say but he realised that he couldn't. There was a invisible barrier between them. He pressed his hand against the forcefield, trying to push in but all Tenpou did was look away and soon the field started to get uncomfortably warm. He was still in Ten-chan's territory after all. 

Using what humans called magic or qi wasn't something Kenren excelled at to begin with but he tried his best to counter, ignoring the steadily increase in temperature as he tried to move closer. "Tenpou, please let me in." He pleaded, hating that the brunette didn't even look at him the entire time. "I can explain." He tried again to move closer, but all Tenpou did was frown slightly and the barrier started smoking as the temperature rose. 

Kenren tried again to find an opening but the barrier was surprisingly well made, even accounting for Tenpou’s location advantage. He finally pulled back, hissing as he blew on his slightly singed hand. He saw Tenpou smirk for a second and pull out a cigarette, casually lighting it on the barrier. In spite of all the crying, the fact that he could still pull off such a petty power move just made Kenren fall just that slightly more.

“You can talk all you want from there.” Tenpou said as he wiped his face with his sleeve again. “Though I’m not sure what you have left to say.” The effect was marred by him shivering as a gust of cold lake wind blew. 

Kenren looked down at the paper bag he was holding and gently moved it close to the barrier, making sure not to let it catch on fire. “Your blazer.” He sat down, facing his love. The sun was halfway through setting and it cast a beautiful orange glow on Tenpou’s tear streaked face. He wanted nothing more than to kiss him again right now, just kiss him and hold him close but Tenpou kept the barrier up every time he tried to move closer. He swore he even extended the range, because he couldn’t even stretch his legs without feeling the slow burn starting. 

Tenpou absently drew a small circle in the barrier and pulled the paper bag in. He took out the blazer, sighing softly as he put it on. He drew his knees up to his chest, turning his face away from Kenren. "I think it's best you leave, general. You have the mission tomorrow with the rest of the First Unit. Corporal Mihara Hikaru is to be your second in command. I appoint Sergeant Nakamura Takumi to be third, provided he never has to actually shoot anything." There was a half hearted chuckle and Marshal Tenpou took a drag on his cigarette. “They’re pretty much the opposite of each other, marksmanship-wise, I mean. Any other unit would have thrown him out by now, but at least he has decent swordsmanship.” He took another drag. “And he’s getting along well with Masumi, which is great considering that he swore he would never find anyone else after Genjiro. Taku-chan took his name after all, and Nakamura is a nice name, given that man’s various vices. He didn’t deserve the way he died.” He wiped at his eyes again, finding them mostly dry. 

Kenren looked at the setting sun again, wishing desperately for a cigarette of his own. He had a million and one questions, but nothing seemed appropriate for the time. He settled with the most burning one. “Why does Takumi talk like that anyway? He never swears or anything.” Kenren was prepared for another horrifying explanation but Tenpou just shrugged.

“I don’t know. Major Genjiro used to find it an adorable quirk and when I met Takuo, he was already speaking like that. Never really bothered to ask.” 

The sun had just dipped beyond the horizon and Kenren was also starting to shiver. "Ten-chan, it's getting dark. Why don't we head back to town?" He got up and tried to extend a hand to his love but still couldn't get past the heat barrier. "Ten-kuma, please. I know you're still mad at me but can we please continue this somewhere else?" 

He could just barely see Tenpou pout again in the dark, his cigarette a bright red glow. Kenren groaned and bit his lip, cursing his body's inappropriate reaction and timing again. No fair that Tenpou could turn him on so much and so quickly. 

"As I said earlier, you can leave, general. I'm fine sitting here by myself." Kenren could track his movements by the cigarette glow and he swore he saw him shiver again. Tenpou took a drag from the cigarette again, and this time he sneezed right after. 

"No you're not!" Kenren again tried to counter the barrier, finding it somewhat more pliable than earlier. "I can't let my Ten-kuma get a cold because of something stupid like this." 

There was a tsk and he could hear the irritation in Tenpou’s voice the next time he spoke. "Its not something stupid. You're being the stup- achoo!" With that sneeze, Kenren realised that the barrier was suddenly gone and he deftly scooped Tenpou up in his arms. "General, what are you doing, put me down!" He pushed at him to get down but Kenren just held him tight. "Kenren put me down now!" He struggled even more and Kenren realised that something was wrong then. He had true fear in his voice again, something Kenren only heard during his nightmares. True enough, he could feel him trying to keep his composure together. "Husband… don't… please. I don't want to do it again. Don't put me on the bed. Please." 

Kenren steeled himself, trying to ignore the flashbacks from Yuuki. "Ten-chan, its me." Kenren started walking back to town, not letting him down. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not letting you go because I know if I do, you'll run off again." It was half true at least. "You need to trust me. You trust me, don't you?" He continued talking, using the same soft soothing words he used after every nightmare. "Put your arms around my neck. I know you're cold." It took a while but soon Kenren felt him do so, sighing softly as he warmed up more. "I'm sorry Ten-kuma." He started off, "I'm sorry I was sleeping around instead of being here for you. This is new for me too. I really like you. I mean it. I know I have a reputation for being a giant whore but I never felt this way with anyone else." He could feel his ears suddenly getting hot and he coughed, continuing to stride along the suddenly never ending park. 

"I regretted it immediately when I woke up. I never did that before. And when I saw how upset you were, I felt… I felt so guilty. I'm sorry I made you feel like I was replacing you. I really really like you Ten-chan. I hate myself for hurting you like this and it's at the worst timing too, with that scumbag Hideaki on the loose. I know it would take some time for you to trust me again, and that's fair, but I hate myself even more every time you cry and I know it's because of me." Kenren could feel Tenpou rest his head against his shoulder, but otherwise didn't say anything else. 

"I won't ever touch you without your permission and I promise you I'll wait till you're ready, truly ready, not sacrificing your body on impulse like the stubborn goat you tend to be." He heard a soft chuckle from his love and smiled as well. "And I will never make you feel like I'm replacing you again. I promise I won't sleep with anyone else any more." That was truly a weighty promise right there. "You managed to tame the great general Kenren, my Ten-kuma. You should be proud." He expected another chuckle but Tenpou stayed eerily silent. "Many have tried but they all failed. Maybe you should write a book about it, huh?" Again, that strange silence and Kenren could tell by the way Tenpou tensed up again that he was thinking very hard.

"... what would you do in the meantime?" came the quiet reply. "When you get frustrated with me denying you? Will you just take what's yours then?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now taking bets on if Kenren can keep it in his pants.


	25. Compulsion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know how to describe this chapter at this point in time.  
> the first unit are in this if that helps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter took quite a lot out of me to decide if this is the direction i wanted to go in.

That stopped him dead in his tracks. "Tenpou." Kenren swallowed, suddenly feeling even worse than he had ever felt before. "Do you really think that? That I'll rape you if I get frustrated enough?" He could feel the small nod against his chest and Kenren could feel his heart break even more. "...that really hurts me, Tenpou. That you would _ever_ think that of me." He wanted to continue walking but somehow he couldn't. He stayed rooted to the spot, holding his love tight. "I would _never_ do that, not to you, not to anyone else and it really. I can't." He was suddenly struggling to find the words, and Kenren realised that he was actually shaking. "I would rather shoot myself in the head than ever violate anyone like that. And what do you mean, take what's mine? You own your body Ten-chan. It doesn't belong to me, or Hideaki or Li or anyone. You decide who you want to bang and if it's me, I'm gonna be over the fucking moon but if you never want to do it again, i understand too. I mean, I'll really prefer the first option but if you're not ready, you're not, and nothing I do or say will override what _you_ decide." 

Tenpou squeezed him tight, "... I really don't know if I can hold you to that." He admitted softly. "I'm sorry but I really don't. My experience is that no matter what I tell him or struggle, husband will take what he wants anyway. And I see it happening to others too, so it's not just me." Tenpou pressed his head against Kenren again. "Being with you was like a dream. You seemed content with just being there and you never try and force me into bed with you. But finding out you had your way with that handful of others woke me up. It makes sense in reality. I can't give you want you want so you go elsewhere. I can't stop you because if I do, you'll take it from me anyway. It's just so simply logical if you think about it that way. I'm being irrational. This jealous feeling in me is just misplaced irrationality, that's all." 

Kenren knew this spiral. Sometimes, his marshal will try and reason things out, drawing on equations and theories and who knows what else he has cooking in his head. It helps for some cases, like battle strategies or when he plays card games with the men. But other times, he would talk himself into what made sense _logically_ but not realistically. And the latter is what is definitely happening now. 

"I should channel this irrationality out. Maybe repeated exposure will help. I can find people for you to fuck. Would that work? I mean, if we are going by the equation earlier, that would but… but when I think about it, it just makes the irrationality grow stronger. There must be another way. What if we go back to-" 

Kenren shook him gently. "Ten-chan, I think we need to get some rest. You're thinking too much." 

"What else can I do?" Came the quiet reply. "I don't want to be thrown away again." 

This time he didn't have an answer. Kenren looked down at him, seeing him half asleep already. With a heavy heart, he continued walking back to the town. 

It was a bit too late to get back to Tenpou's office and Kenren found both of them in front of Shio's restaurant.

She came out when she saw Kenren standing outside. "I see you found him at last." Shio started angrily but softened when she saw Tenpou fast asleep in his arms. "At least you're good for something." She beckoned them in and up the stairs. "Sometimes he crashes with me here." The room upstairs was tiny, with just a closet and a night stand next to a small cot. There was a small worn out futon on the floor next to the bed. "I don't know where you're going to sleep though." She tsked again and pulled out a chair from somewhere. "That's the best I can do. Now put him down and help me close up shop downstairs."

Kenren went down after drawing the blanket up over his fast asleep love. The stairs seemed to never end and all he could think about was the conversation earlier. He never expected to hear those words from him. Kenren hated men like Hideaki. Those who use force to get what they want from the ones who can't fight back. Just the thought made him sick, and he always stepped in whenever he saw those types harassing others or slipping drugs in drinks. It made it even all the more worse to know that his Ten-kuma considered what Kenren did even worse than what he suffered under his marriage to arguably the n-th example of the type of men Kenren would beat up in bars. His head hurt and now all he wanted to do is to get in a fight to blow off some steam. Instead, all he got was an earful from Shio as she made him do a thorough cleaning of her store.

He made his way back up at last, inwardly cursing as he realised his mistake of putting Tenpou down on the bed instead of the futon. Kenren quickly squeezed onto the narrow bed and pulled the crying kami close. He couldn't make out the words he was whispering in his sleep but the nightmares usually went away if he held him long enough. 

This time was different. Tenpou was struggling more than normal, for one and with a start, Kenren realised that he was actively trying to pull away from the embrace instead of fighting off his nightmare attacker. He held him even tighter, feeling the same guilt rise even more when he could make out the pleading. "Kenren let me go. Let me go. You're just going to throw me away again so please. Just. Don't play with me like this." Kenren resisted the attempts to push him away, trying his best to calm him down again but the bed was slightly too narrow to do so comfortably. He managed to maneuver both of them into the position he knew would always relax his love, with Tenpou lying on his chest and true to form, his crying gradually stopped and he fell silent again. 

Kenren stroked the chocolate brown hair, staring up at the ceiling. He had always left after things got bad. Now that it's the first time he stayed, he was at a loss on what to do. It would take some time for Tenpou to trust him again, and he could see by now how much Kenren had hurt him with that one careless night. He could feel tears start to prick at his own eyes and tried to blink them away. "I don't want to lose you Ten-chan. I really don't." 

\------

When he woke up again, Tenpou was gone and he saw most of the First Unit crowding around the cramped room staring down at him. 

"Good thing our Marshal warned us where to find you, else you'll be late for the mission." That was Gorou, who had been poking him with a hanger the entire time. 

"You fucked up really badly, sir." Masumi, somehow finding a space to casually lean against. "We've never seen him this upset before. Not even when Master Hideaki wanted to trade-"

"That happened to Special Aide Yuuki, not our Marshal." Hikaru stepped in at that point. "And this excuse for a general needs to get dressed for the mission." He had the same disdainful look on his face as he threw Kenren's uniform down at him. "We will be downstairs. Don't be later than you already are. Taku, throw him the brief and we'll find out if he can actually read." That actually drew quite a few sympathetic hisses from the rest as they followed Hikaru down.  
\----

The mission went along normally enough but Kenren got the feeling that he was being shunned by the rest. Not so much that he needed to fear any stray friendly fire but there was still the sense of _something_ hanging in the air. He stopped to look around at the unit at one point, to really take a look at the men comprising the famed First Unit and realised how _beautiful_ most of them were. Even clad in the skin covering uniform and with sensible hairstyles, he could see them hanging off the arm of his father's ilk. If he squinted, he could swear he's seen some around before, maybe truly as arm candy or just in the background, unimportant to be talked to but pretty enough as decoration. 

That got him thinking about his family again. He hadn't seen them since he ran away all those years ago, right before the date of Yuuki's auction. The thought of it made his blood run cold. How would younger Kenren have reacted should he had come back to find his father bought him a wife. To be fair, Yuuki, and Tenpou, had always been his type, visually speaking, but he has no idea on how Yuuki used to be. He could also barely trust his father to remember his favourite colour, let alone pick out a partner for him. The battle was winding down, but all Kenren could do was move mechanically, lost in his thoughts as he shot through the fighting.

“GENERAL!” 

He almost didn’t dodge the next enemy attack aimed for his face, and pulled away in time to see a bullet fly right past him, having exited the now corpse of his attacker. 

“For duck’s sake!” Kenren looked back to see Takumi, a smoking revolver in hand a few feet away. “Keep it together! The Marshal would fishing kill me if I had missed that!” 

“To be fair, you shot him at almost point blank range.” Masumi drawled, sauntering over to gently push down Takumi’s gun. “Battle’s over, general.” He said curtly to Kenren, before picking up a sword on the floor. “And Taku-chan dropped the only weapon he could competently use to save this general. I hope he knows how much that meant.” 

Masumi had curly red hair, cut to a manageable level. He still looked very much the youngest of them all, missing perhaps his last growth spurt to shoot above the rest. Takumi’s hair was short too, jet black with a long fringe that was now swept back by a simple hairband. He had a delicate look to him, almost like a porcelain doll. Kenren remembered him always smiling, though it never quite reached his eyes. There was a genuine smile there now, as he looked down at Masumi and brushed the hair back from his face. Kenren could swear that he had seen Takumi before, perhaps really on the arm of someone he knew. 

Another person brushed past him, Hikaru, and again, Kenren couldn’t help but take note of all of his features now that he started doing it for the rest. Hika had scars up and down his body. Kenren had always thought them to be battle injuries, but now that he looked closer, not all of them seemed plausible now. Hikaru had his uniform slightly open, from a cut sustained in the battle. Again, there was that red mark just at the hem of his undershirt’s collar, same place as where Tenpou had his. Tenpou ran off when he pointed that out though, but it also could be the cumulation of the events of the past few days. 

“Corporal, what’s that?” He didn’t realise he had done it, but he had somehow stepped closer and pulled Hikaru’s collar down slightly so he could see it. He expected himself to be on the ground again, but for some reason he was still upright. Hikaru was standing perfectly still, his eyes wide and an unreadable expression on his face. This only lasted for a split second before Kenren saw his fist curl up and he was punched back, as hard as he had ever been. 

He staggered back, seeing the group form up around them. Hikaru was holding his jacket closed with one hand, a look of utter disgust on his face. “I’m not property, general.” He hissed. “Tenpou reminded me of that the last time I saw you, and I will repeat it again. None of us are property, not anymore and I will willingly be court-martialed before I let it happen again. Not that a Kamiki like you would ever understand that. I really don’t see what our marshal sees in you. All you do is fuck around, not caring about what others think or feel. You don’t even care for Tenpou, because the first chance you get, you break his heart like this.” 

Hikaru punched him again, and this time he barely blocked it. “Tenpou saved my life, saved all of our lives, gave us a purpose and identity beyond being some rich person’s plaything, and seeing you treat him like this really makes me sick. We were supposed to get another general, but he died. He died because of people like you who never knew how to back off at a ‘no’, who went crazy and attacked him on a mission. He was used and left to die, from some fucking shithead who thought that because he was someone important, that he was born to someone with money, he could do whatever he wanted. You’re not going to do that to our Yuu-chan. He deserves better than you.” 

Hikaru made a hand signal and the rest formed up behind him to leave. Kenren stared after them, again, at a loss for words. The image of what he saw under the undershirt stayed with him, and now all he could do was imagine in on his Ten-kuma. 

In dark red, almost as if it was carved into the flesh, the words forming a strong compulsion spell. 

**Property of Sakamoto Hideaki**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might edit this, might not.  
> Its raining beautifully right now. hope all of you have a great week ahead.  
> also let me know what you all think. this is really a turning point right now so idk.  
> i mean, i could keep it like this, but i could make it lighter (as if this fic was light to begin with ha)


End file.
